getting desperate

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getting desperate

Postby Jess1234 » Tue Oct 02, 2007 1:18 pm

Hey

some of you know a bit about my family background especially the trouble that i have with my brother.

Since moving to India my family situation has got so much worse.. i hate going home at night.. i'm scared to death that something will happen to me and that they will lose control.
I have been beaten up by my brother since i was about 11years old coz although he's younger than me hes always been a lot bigger and stronger than me. My parents both hate me, it doesnt matter what i do i get yelled at. I even got screamed at for doing the washing up the other day.
I really, really try to make this family work but all i seem to do is make things worse.
From the age of about 9 i have been told im fat and ugly (im 16, 5ft 2 and i weigh 47kgs).. i went anorexic at the beginning of the year and i used to cut.
Im getting really desperate... i cant cope with this anymore.. i have a year and a half until i move 5000miles away for uni and i really dont think i can last that long...

thanks for reading
Jess
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Postby brfc » Wed Oct 03, 2007 9:39 am

hey jess im sorry too hear things are not going too well at home.


have been beaten up by my brother since i was about 11years old coz although he's younger than me hes always been a lot bigger and stronger than me. My parents both hate me, it doesnt matter what i do i get yelled at. I even got screamed at for doing the washing up the other day.
I really, really try to make this family work but all i seem to do is make things worse.


have you told your parents that you feel they hate you? im sure they dont and i bet when you move away they will miss you loads. as for your brother your mum or dad needs to tell him not too keep hitting you. think come better fm them and he might listen.

From the age of about 9 i have been told im fat and ugly (im 16, 5ft 2 and i weigh 47kgs).. i went anorexic at the beginning of the year and i used to cut.


ive seen a picture of you and you look great too me jess. defenitly not fat and ugly. anyone says different tell them to go to specsavers or send them too me :)

hope things work out sweet. always here if you need a chat

take care brfc xx
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Postby Pwif » Wed Oct 03, 2007 11:23 am

Hi Jess,

Grhhh. I remember being told I was fat and ugly in my teens. :evil: People just don't realise how upsetting and soul destroying that is when we're at a very vulnerable time in our lives (as a teenager). It was only when I left home and started getting more confidence in myself, that I realised that those people were wrong. I may not have been some beautiful, stickinsect supermodel, but I was ok.

I've seen your photos, and we've had a lot of banter on PP. You're a very pretty girl with a lovely personality, and you've got a great sense of humour. Don't do what I did, and accept other people's negative opinions of me. Think about all your good points (and you've got loads) - you're bright, articulate, write well, very kind (always helping others on PP) plus plus plus. Once you start concentrating on all your good points, you won't worry about what anyone else says about you.

Now, about your family. It sounds as if your mum and dad aren't finding it as easy to move to India as they thought. (I don't know that, but that's the impression I get from your posts). As brfc says, why not find a time when things are a bit calmer at home, and ask your parents to sit down and have a chat. If you write down what you're not happy with, and tell them in an adult, factual (non-confrontational) way, I am sure that they will listen to you. They may even open up to you more if they feel that you're acting in an adult way. I would also tell that about your brother's behaviour. He may be younger than you, but he appears to be physically much stronger. He may have picked up on the tense atmosphere in your house, be unhappy at school, and is taking out his frustrations on the only person he can do it with ie you. That is totally unacceptable, and your parents should deal with it. As the elder of the two, you could also sit him down and find out what he thinks about the situation at home, in school, with his friends etc. It's better to have him as a friend than an enemy. Worth a try.

Let us know how things go. We're here for you if you want to chat or just rant. xxxx
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Postby Jess1234 » Tue Oct 09, 2007 12:50 pm

I have tried sitting down and talking to my parents about it on more than one occasion but each time i try they dont want to listen and just end up yelling at me rather than try and listen to my point of view.
They know what my brother does to me because most of the time they are witnesses to it, i could understand if they didn't see it but they are usually sitting in the same room just letting it happen.
:(

Jess xx
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