help..

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help..

Postby lovage » Wed Dec 05, 2007 6:10 pm

ok i dont really know how to start this as its not my problem its my friends but anyway i will try.
about a year ago she was really upset and i got her to tell me what was wrong she told me that for about 3 years her step dad was hiding cameras in her room etc and coming in the bathroom when she was showering :( she also told me he had always called her a prude or sumat :S because she would not just walk around naked 1 thing she said aswel was remembering being on the laptop with her friend messing about and she clicked a video and it was her geting undresd and how she had been so upset. she seemd soo upset and i tell her to tell someone but she tells me i dont understand and her bf dosent she said its hard and she hates herslef but she dosent want to split her family up because of it. but i realy dont know what else to say to her she told me so much more what i dont really think i should say but what else can i say to do :S. and aswel she is beginging to hate her mum because of it all.
thanks
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Postby Bel Bel » Thu Dec 06, 2007 11:02 am

You have to tell her mum or persuade her to
My stap dad spied on me and it eats away at your self esteem
He can't be allowed to get away with this
The problem is he could take it further and try to touch her
She is scared that's why she doesn't want to say anything but it is better to get it out. Has she still got the video to show her mum?
Are the cameras still there because she can show them to her mum too?
I understand that she is starting to hate her mum becasue she feels she is not protecting her but she can't do that if she doesn't know
She will also be blaming herself but it is not her fault
Does the boyfriend want to deal with it, I presume he does so you could both go with her to tell her mum so she has support
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Postby lovage » Thu Dec 06, 2007 1:32 pm

well when it al started she said when she would be in the shower he would make excuses to touch her etc! and another reason why she really hates her mum aswel was because she told me when her mum was in hospital he made her play a toga game or somthing and said get chaged downstairs and she didnt want to but when she did she saw him hiding with his camera phone and the nect day she said he said her mum went your a spoil sport for not playing that naked game or somthing :S! but i told her her mum wouldnt say that she isnt like that! i know she has tried telling her mum and her mum was worried but she just couldnt do it! all me and her bf have been doing is listning to her when she needs to talk because she does get so down and her bf has told me all the time she cries and thinks its her fault and feels ugly and dirty etc. but i just dontknow how i can get her to tell somone. and with her bf she wont let him do out tell her mum or anything and he practically begs her to.

xx
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Postby Bel Bel » Thu Dec 06, 2007 3:41 pm

This sounds so similar to my situation and it is scary to tell so I understand but if you and her b/f get together and tell her she must tell and you will go with her, when the step dad is out, I think that's the only way to persuade her.
She cannot go on like this she will end up having a breakdown.
You are a very good friend for caring
I didn't tell a sole becasue I was so frightened at the time but was so releived when I finally got it out
She may need conselling as well to help her deal with it
The thing is her probably doesn't realise what is really going on becasue the step dad will have told little stories to try to cover his tracks
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Postby lovage » Thu Dec 06, 2007 3:51 pm

thankyou hunny i will try and get her to i dont know if she will listen but thankyou! :D
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