Mum looks through my personal belongings

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Mum looks through my personal belongings

Postby fluffycloud » Sun Feb 03, 2008 10:15 pm

am 27 years old and an only child. In August 2007, I moved back to my parents after 5 years being away from home as split up with my former partner of four years. I have noticed my mother has been in my cupboards and drawers. Things get moved to another part of the cupboard or drawer. Then I have noticed things such as cardboard boxes for my perfume bottles in the bin and other small things which were in my cupboards and drawers. Also a box set DVD which I was watching, was moved back into the DVD unit. I kept the box in the drawer next to the DVD player.

When I have approached my mother about this, she denies all knowledge of it and just says 'I am just tidying up your room'. I do all the cleaning and tidying of my room. My mother is in her late 50s, works part time and is house proud.

I am not allowed to put locks on my bedroom door or on the drawers and cupboards. I shall be living with my parents for another 15-18 months. I don't want my parents to share everything I do (likewise they do to me). Does anyone know how to deal with my mother? BTW my father does not do this and is more trust worthy.
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Postby morris mouse » Mon Feb 04, 2008 12:51 am

fluffycloud wrote: BTW my father does not do this and is more trust worthy.


Hello,"fluffycloud"

Welcome to problem pages!! :)

I was really concerned when I read your post.

To be honest,at the age of 27 you should be able to have your own
privacy [no wonder you were annoyed 8)]

I notice from your post,that,your father does not do this and is more trust worthy. I would confide in him,as a friend,and ask him to have a quiet
word with your mum

See how it goes,and take it from there :)
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Postby Bel Bel » Mon Feb 04, 2008 10:33 am

Yes and ask you Dad if you can get a lock on your door because of it.

Is ther anyone else you could move in with, a frined or other realtive.

It's not a long time you intend to be at home but long ehough to become a real thorn between you and your mother
Life is for living so live it to the fullest

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Postby all_apologies » Mon Feb 04, 2008 2:31 pm

Hmm I think that's quite strange behaviour. I would say that most parents would probably prefer not to snoop around in their adult kids' rooms for fear of seeing something they might not want to! Is there any aspect of your life that your mum might be curious or worried about? I ask that because she's obviously doing more than just tidying up, but I find it odd that a parent would go looking through your stuff like that. For instance, might she suspect that you're hiding something (not necessarily a physical possession, but an aspect of your life that might come through if she found stuff relating to it)? For example, could she be curious about your private life and looking for signs of you having a partner? Or something more obvious like drugs/drink etc?

Having a word with your dad may well be a good idea as the others have suggested. Or, if you feel brave enough, approaching your mum about it again but being a bit more direct. For instance, ask if she's looking for something in particular. If you put her on the spot a bit you might get more out of her.
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