Has anyone got a parent who moved abroad?

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Has anyone got a parent who moved abroad?

Postby snowy » Thu Feb 07, 2008 12:36 pm

My dad just left this morning to live abroad. He bought a house in central Europe and will be living there. Visiting home every Christmas. It's very tough realising that he won't be there in the house anymore or having lunch together etc.

Just wondering if anyone else has experienced this type of thing? I'm finding it quite tough to come to terms with it.

:-?
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Postby Bel Bel » Thu Feb 07, 2008 1:58 pm

Sorry I have no experience of this but can you visit him? There are loads of companies doing really cheap flights into europe now.
Why will he only come home at xmas?
Was this planned for a long time or has it come as a complete shock?
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Postby all_apologies » Thu Feb 07, 2008 2:25 pm

My dad lives in a different country for work. Most of the time this is on a rotation where he is home roughly the same time he's away but there have been a few occasions (of about a year or so a while back) where he's lived away full time. This was fine for us as my mum was able to stay with him regularly for decent periods of time, and I could go out and visit (being at school at the time) during holidays. Most companies will give an allowance for flights to allow partners and children to go visit; is this the case with your dad? Actually, I'm maybe wrongly assuming he's moving for work...

Anyway, I'm close to my dad but am used to him being away often so don't find it too hard to deal with. Do you live with your dad? If you do, it'll take some getting used to, but you definitely adapt and it'll just become normal. If you don't live with him at the moment, that'll make it a bit easier because you're not used to seeing him all the time. Is your mum around, and if so what's your relationship with her like? For the mostpart, I've had a decent relationship with mine, which has helped.

Despite my dad having been away for long periods at times, it's never affected my relationship with him. I've remained as close to him as ever. There are so many really quick modes of contact now that it's much easier to maintain a close relationship with someone who's far away.
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Postby snowy » Thu Feb 07, 2008 3:07 pm

My parents seperated about 2 and a half years ago. My dad stayed at home, my mam moved to a flat nearby. He had planned on going to live abroad since the seperation but I always thought it was just talk. Then he just booked the flights and said he was going. He had been negotiating the purchase of a house and he got it so he just went ahead with leaving. It does feel like a shock as I really never thought he would go.

My mam is a recovering alcoholic ( see previous posts of mine) and it's also scary to think that if she relapses my dad won't be around for support.

It's such a massive shift in my life and it'll take some getting used to but I'm sure it everything will be alright. (And I'm aware that I sound like a 12 year old but I'm actually an adult, a very sensitive one at that!)
Fall seven times, stand up eight.

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

Anyone can slay a dragon, he told me, but try waking up every morning & loving the world all over again. That’s what takes a real hero.
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Postby Bel Bel » Thu Feb 07, 2008 5:29 pm

It doesn't matter how old you are it's lose although not a permanent one.
Like all_apologies said there are great ways to communictae these days and he can still be a support over the phone and in letters.
Make sure you keep on the contact and go and visit regularly.
I think once the shock wears off you will be ok.
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