Dad possibly being unfaithful - sending money to woman

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Dad possibly being unfaithful - sending money to woman

Postby Jay2711 » Fri Jan 09, 2009 11:14 pm

I seriously need some good advice. I have no idea what to do but i guess that is why many people come on this site anyway!
I'm 22, live at home with my parents, my boyfriend also lives with us.
A good few months ago, i found on the computer that my dad had been talking to some woman on the internet, not just one, his yahoo account which he had accidently left open had about 12 usernames which all seemed like woman. I spoke to a couple of them on there and they were very slutty. So no guessing what kind of women they were. They wanted me to open up web cams etc, which slowy the realisation came in that that my dad had tried to install a webcam a month or so before -claiming it was so we could talk and see my sister in America. So anyway i confronted him about it, he denied some of it but told me to shhhh in case my mum heard, then just "ok"'d me to get rid of me. So everytime he was on his lap top i'd get mad. I've caught him looking at porn a few times as well, from having MSN i know that when someone sends you a instant message it flashes, so when one of those were flashin from yahoo i knew what it was. So he is chattng to other woman. I spoke to my sister and brother, they both begged me not to tell my mum, they are 12 years older.

Ok, I know every bloke looks at porn, i'm not that naive and i do not think my dad is the exception to the rule - although i wish he was. But talking to other woman and watching them on webcam I fnd crossing the line a bit. So anyway I gave up on it, he knows how i feel yet he keeps doing it. Until today...

I was on the family comp upstairs and he had left his phone in there, it made a noise and a failed message report came up. Curiosity came over me and I saw it was to a woman I had never heard of. I looked in his sent messages and god I wish I hadn't. I found texts like these to the same woman:
"pls ring if u cant get online i promise not to answer".
"I am starting to get a plan together now that I know the situation please talk in yh (yahoo) at 1900 ur time" sent at 4.40pm on the 7th.
"Please talk on yahoo coz i did u many favours do this for me".
"It would cost you nothing and it would help me"
"Simona pls talk to me i know u back with marian but i need to talk to you"
Texts saying that he is waiting for us all to go to bed so he can talk to her - my boyfriend looked at her number and found the area code for sausage romania!!!!

The most concerning one I found which infuriates me is him saying he is sending her 500 euros. What a mug. :evil: That was on the 27th Dec. My mums bday is on sunday, he turned to me before I found all this today and said we dont have much money so he wont be buying much. What a f-ing joke!

He has crossed a serious line, we used to be doing fine with money, then over a few months I've been told its getting tighter and we cant afford that much. I'm worried he has sent her more. I am soo mad at him. I have tried desperatly to get hold of my sister but I can't get hold of her. My brother proved useless last time.

My parents aren't a loving couple, there are times i look at them and think what is the point. But we all know deep down they love each other. My mum has no idea!!! She thinks he is looking at porn only ad she is starting to get annoyed with how much he looks at it.

I have no idea what to do, I am stressing massively right now. Anyone got any good advice? As right now I am thinking about threatening my dad with the info I have to make him stop.

Help please! lol! Sorry for long ass rant.
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Re: Dad possibly being unfaithful - sending money to woman

Postby Bel Bel » Mon Jan 12, 2009 1:47 pm

tell your dad he either comes clean with your mum or stops or your going to tell her yourself
i don't think you should have to be the one to tell her and I am not sure he is going to stop either
if he doesn't tell her and doesn't stop i do think you should tell her whats going on as he is now spending the families money and at the end of the day he might start doing worse things like remortgaging the house and that could lead to you all being homeless - i know this might sound far fetched but people do things like this
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Re: Dad possibly being unfaithful - sending money to woman

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Tue Jan 13, 2009 10:40 am

Bel Bel wrote:tell your dad he either comes clean with your mum or stops or your going to tell her yourself


That was my exact advice too. I'd also maybe "hide" his phone so he can't delete his messages and save his chat conversations somewhere so you have proof for when you tell your mam/when he tells her.
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Re: Dad possibly being unfaithful - sending money to woman

Postby ally » Wed Jul 01, 2009 1:43 pm

tell him unless he stops right now you'll tell her. ask him why hes doing it if he loves your mum that much. check his phone and his mails, if he's stopped liek you asked him to he'd have nothing to hide...
have my own problem myself.... HELP!!
i know its kinda normal.. but i found porn DVDs in my dads drawer...
i dunno where they've come from... one is obviously bought. but i opened the other DVD case. it was blank , with a copied disk inside it... with the title " M/F Porn....News"
My dad doesn't seem that kind of person what so ever and its horrible to think he even has them...i dont understand though. does my mum know or not ? because theyre under his clothes in his drawer. she always goes in there to put clean washing in there and they were quite obvious to me when i went in there , how could she miss them ? But i still wouldn't understand if she did know about them. she'd go insane. there's no way i could mention it to either of my parents...but it keeps playing on my mind because I know about them. Another thing , I don't know how he even gets a chance to watch them...My mum is never away from home,he doesn't tend to just sit in the bedroom he's always out and about. I really don't get it, its upsetting me,... :(
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Re: Dad possibly being unfaithful - sending money to woman

Postby snail » Wed Jul 01, 2009 4:53 pm

You need to start your own thread really, Ally. Contact one of the moderators and get them to move your post, or just start a new thread and copy it into that.

Your mum probably does know about the DVDs - if you found them easily, I'm sure she would know they're there. Your parents probably watch them together. I know it's weird to think of your parents doing that, but it's quite normal, really. I wouldn't worry about it. Probably best not to go looking in your parents' drawers, though - ask them first so they can hide anything if they need to!
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Re: Dad possibly being unfaithful - sending money to woman

Postby Bel Bel » Thu Jul 02, 2009 10:09 am

you mum and dad may both use htem together - it's not exactly the kind of thing your mum and dad ar going to tell you.
you said yourself that your mum must have seen them
try to forget it, there sex life is none of your business. I am sure you won't be discussing yours with them if and when you have one
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