my family dont know

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Re: my family dont know

Postby Bel Bel » Tue Aug 18, 2009 3:44 pm

Well thats progress then.
Consellors are trained to get stuff out of you. They know how to make it easier for you to talk without pushing you too far or too early.
Anyway you have made the first step and that is something to be proud of.
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Re: my family dont know

Postby strokesurvior23 » Mon Aug 24, 2009 3:08 pm

i went and eventually told her as shes independant it wont be reported it felt rubbish saying it like i expecting she say i need counselling to deal with it and to talk about how i deal with it wen i go bk, but is not sure if im ready and tbh neither am i, im just really confused as to where i go from here ive had enough of all this jumping jelly
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Re: my family dont know

Postby Bel Bel » Mon Aug 24, 2009 3:12 pm

I think just stick with going to see her. Perhaps you can ask her what she thinks it is you need to achieve to be ready for conselling. I can't see how you can get over this without some form of conselling even if it is not quite yet.
Are you still writing things down? And is it helping?
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Re: my family dont know

Postby strokesurvior23 » Mon Aug 24, 2009 3:42 pm

she thinks it could make the matter worse reliving the event as there would be a need to go through the even to deal with it, i agree im not ready i dont say enough to really find it usefull, my ohysio thinks i should try and say i know i need help i just find it so hard to talk she knows even this is a big ask for me but by doing that i give them something, she said i was like that at first and i know i was wud only say yes no or maybe, but shes known me a long time (nearly 3 years) and says she learnt to work with me and gradually i have said mor and more she knows im still not really myself but she accepts this at first she didnt know what direction to takewith me atall but im thankfull she stuck with me this isnt relevant atall i know sorry
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Re: my family dont know

Postby Bel Bel » Mon Aug 24, 2009 4:29 pm

Yes I think it is relevant as it shows you find it difficult to open up with people and it makes sense why it's probably not good to go to conselling just yet but your physio is right try and let them know you need help even if you don't know exactly what that help is at the moment. Hopefully that will come with time and patience
You always have to do things at a pace that makes you comfortable. You have made huge steps already considering where you were a few weeks back
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Re: my family dont know

Postby strokesurvior23 » Tue Aug 25, 2009 1:15 pm

thanks for your words, i am due to go bk to the hosp whee it happened friday 4 a check up and to see my consultant, i jumping hate going bk it hurst so much it like im bk laying in the bed where it happened an everything she did/said comes bk to me like its happening again, i dnt trust my consultant she tells my parents wot ive said in the room, it got to the point i had to stop them from coming in i thought she would get the message but she doesnt she still insitst after we have finished wakling me blk to the waiting room to tell my parents
1 if i spoke to her
2 sum of the thing that were said,
i dont say alot to her just give 1 word ansewers but i cnt handle talking to her wen i dont trust her and i hate going back, theres no other hosp i can go to as this is only 1 that specialises in the blood diease i have ](*,)
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Re: my family dont know

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Tue Aug 25, 2009 1:17 pm

Your consultant shouldn't be discussing stuff with your family. Patient confidentiality. It also depends what she is telling your family...
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Re: my family dont know

Postby strokesurvior23 » Tue Aug 25, 2009 2:51 pm

not anything personal, not anything related to my medical condition really, just if i talk etc, she did tell them she advised me to have the marina coil cos my heavy periods, my previous counsellors think its cos i dnt say much and say they can understand why she does it, even though its not right, i want to qyuestion a few things but feel i cnt incase she goes bk to them, she does it to another patient of hers too that i know through the hosp
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Re: my family dont know

Postby snail » Tue Aug 25, 2009 7:29 pm

She's probably trying to involve them; she seems to feel you need them to be kept informed and up to date. The fact that you keep bringing them probably suggests to her that you need them there, and you need them to know. I'm sure she's doing what she thinks is best, but I understand how you feel.

Do your parents have to come with you? Can you take a bus or a taxi? If they're not in the waiting room, she can't walk out and tell them what's been said, and you might feel more free.
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Re: my family dont know

Postby strokesurvior23 » Wed Aug 26, 2009 7:58 am

Hi, its in london so need to get the train and if i get a cag to the hosp its £20 each way so cos me near on £100 every 6 months on top of paying 4 physio every week its alot, but i can totally see your point and its something i will think about
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Re: my family dont know

Postby snail » Wed Aug 26, 2009 9:13 am

Yes, I see. Maybe you could get them to go somewhere - sightseeing, or just having a cup of coffee - while you go to the appointment. It can't be very interesting for them to sit in the waiting room, they might be glad to go somewhere else.
These mountains that you are carrying, you were only supposed to climb.

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Re: my family dont know

Postby Bel Bel » Wed Aug 26, 2009 12:34 pm

I would remind the consultant of your right to patient confidentiality by saying somehting like]

"I would prefer EVERYTHING we discuss to remain private unless you first get my approval. I understand you should respect my patient confidentiality"

She should then realise you mean it and be too scared to discuss anything you say in case you complain

She really isn't being professional. Is it possible to see a different consultant nearer to home?
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