I feel like my toddler hates me!

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I feel like my toddler hates me!

Postby laceysmummy01 » Thu Dec 09, 2010 8:54 pm

Hi Everyone,

My daughter has just turned two and since then she has changed so much, i know what your all thinking "The terrible two's" but can it really happen that suddenly? She was always a mummy's girl and would be very affectionate but now she has such a temper towards me, hits me and shouts NO! at me no matter what i say to her, she has gone from eating really well to hardly eating anything at all, she plays with her food and gets up and walks around when she is supposed to be sat at her table. It seems like she is only like this with me though, she isn't like it with my husband although he works long hours so only see's her for half an hour before she goes to bed in the evening and she isn't like it with her grandparents! It honestly feels like she hates me and i am really struggling at the moment, i hate feeling like this. My daughter is everything to me and i hate always feeling like i am being angry towards her :cry:

Look Forward to hearing your thoughts x
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Re: I feel like my toddler hates me!

Postby Bel Bel » Fri Dec 10, 2010 1:39 pm

First thing you have to try and stay calm as kids pick up on your vibes and she will knwo she is pushing your buttons and will be enjoying the reaction. A bad reaction is better than no reaction

Firstly offer her the food and if she starts to play with it take it away. Tell her if she can't eat it properly she can't have it.
If she says she wnats it tell her she has one chance but if she plays with it again she can't have it at all. Then if she plays up take it away. She won't starve but will soon learn if she is hungry she needs to eat.

Do you eat with her or is she expected to eat alone. If she is on her own it could be the problem. Make meal time fun. Get her to help lay the table. Ask her to help get ingredientsout of the fridge. When it's done you can praise her loads saying "look what a brilliant dinner you helped me amke." Praise is really important

I would recommend watching supernanny. You can also get a great book off e bay
http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/Happiest-Toddler- ... 4154608148
There are also DVD's in the same series called "happiest Toddler". They are american but they are getting great reviews both in america and here.

You also have to be consistent with beahiour. You can't give in one day and be frim the next. Tell her the rules. Make sure she is clear and then most importnatly follow through with any punishment you said you would give.

Have you tried reward charts and naughty steps, these are both tried and tested method IF you follow through. Most parents fail becasue they claim they are doing all the right things but are not consistent and don't give enough praise when a child is behaving

Also make sure there is plenty of quality play time, amking things, cakes. Stuff you do together. Don't just put your child in front of the TV and wonder why they are playing up

I don't know which of these things you may or may not doso I am being very general in my response.
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Re: I feel like my toddler hates me!

Postby SpongebobClaire » Wed Mar 09, 2011 7:09 pm

your little one doesn't hate you. trust me. my little one turned 2 in october. he was a very quiet and shy ...2 weeks after his birthday he is this little bossy boots, loud and hyperactive lol. doesn't listen to me and just laughs when told off.
ignore minor behaviour, tell them off for bad behaviour with time out or whatever method you choose, and praise any good bahviour.

but....my other 2 kids went through the same thing. the terrible twos really do come on that suddenly.
but bel bel is right, you need to be consistent and not let your child see your frustration, as they do pick up on this and use it to their advantage. they're more clever than you think.
drive you mad one minute then the next they're so cute.
don't worry about your anger towards her. once you get your head around dealing with this "new" child, everything will fall into place and you will both understand each other a little better.
if you do find your finding it more than you can handle, you can always ask for a bit of help from health visitors. they're good.
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