Wanting a baby!!

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Wanting a baby!!

Postby BroodyBirdy » Sun Jan 16, 2011 2:03 am

Okay I'm new to this but I cannot stop thinking about having children, and have wanted children from a very young age. I'm just after a little advice - good or bad.

Im 19 (20 next month) ((much older than my years)) & in a relationship with my amazing Bf (he's 25years old). We have been together 9months and are so in love & have spoke in depth about our future and planned it. We both feel that our relationship is bliss and cant get better. Luckily for me he also wants children asap, it's just is it too soon??
Were going abroad for our year anniversary, just the 2 of us, and have discussed to start tryin whilst out there. On our actual anniversary date. I am really looking forward to it and so is he, but is it too soon and am I too young.

All feedback will be greatly appreciated :) Thanks
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Re: Wanting a baby!!

Postby chosenfew » Sun Jan 16, 2011 9:46 am

Hi welcome to PP.

Nine months is not a long time to be with eachother to be start thinking of having children. Nine months is still sometimes the "hunnymoon period" and during that time everyones relationship is bliss.

Is this your first serious relationship?
Do you both work? If so what type of job do you both have?
Can you both finacially support this child or will you be using tax payers money to bring it up?
Do you live together now or will you have to get a place once your pregnant?
Can you afford this along with a baby?
Are you mentally prepared for a baby? Ready for the sleepless nights and the crying? I'm 24 with a 14 month old and I could never have been prepared for it this is why I ask.

It's your life and your choice but if I were you I'd enjoy your life alot more before having a baby. Go on holidays together, party and enjoy it coz your only young! I don't kno what your social life is like at the mo but I used to go out every weekend and since getting pregnant which for me was two years ago I have been out nine times. I can't go out whenever I want with my mates coz my son comes first and I have to look after him. I can't go to friends houses for a drink coz I have to stay in and watch my son. I can't meet friends for lunch without taking him, I can't just go out for tea as my son goes to bed at 7pm so I'm at home every day from six.
This is not the life to live at 19/20. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't change him for the world but if I'd have thought about it in detail I would have probably took more precaution when having sex.

Hope this helped x
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Re: Wanting a baby!!

Postby BroodyBirdy » Sun Jan 16, 2011 7:28 pm

Yes any feedback is good. Just want opinions really so thank you :)

No this is neither of our first serious relationship. And it is the relationship we both feel so at one with.
Yes we both work, full time. Im a support worker/key worker in a special educational needs school & my Bfs a bus driver so we both have a pretty good wage & wouldnt be using tax payers money.
Yes we rent a flat together that is pretty reasonable as split the cost etc.
& yes i guess we both feel mentally ready for it as discussed it in some depth and both really wanting it.

Neither of us are party go-ers as such as neither of us drink anymore due to bad experiences in the past, etc. So that wouldnt be much of an issue.

I honestly dont know. I really want to have one ASAP, but then think we should wait but ive waited long enough.

Thanks for replying :)
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Re: Wanting a baby!!

Postby ILoveChristmas » Mon Jan 17, 2011 12:59 pm

I'd recommend getting yourselves on the property ladder before you have children.

The reason is that children are very expensive (I have a little boy) and whilst you may be able to afford to have a child and provide it with all that it needs, it would most likely be to the detriment of your ability to save any money that could later be used as a deposit for a mortgage.

Your position would be much better if you had yourselves established in somewhere of your own first.

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The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel. — Steve Furtick
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Re: Wanting a baby!!

Postby StephEChick » Wed Jan 26, 2011 1:46 pm

To be fair, it sounds like you have your mind made up and who am I to say its good or bad??!!

I had my son at 23/24 and must admit I found it hard work (he didnt sleep through till he was about 5), it really does test a relationship however I love being a young mum.......my son is now 10 (going on stroppy 16) and we have a daughter of 2. Having my daughter at 33 was SOOO much easier, felt much more relaxed and calmer..........probably due to it being my 2nd and being older but I know plenty of people that did it when they were younger and now have the freedom as there kids are older!

My personal preference would of been to have kids at about 26/27...........enjoy going out a bit more or going abroad just the 2 of us before babies!

You have to remember that your friends might not be settling down with kids at the same time so you'll have different interests etc at different times.............i found at 24 none of my mates had kids so I was pretty alone.

Only you can decide hun!
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