Suspect my stepson is stealing

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Suspect my stepson is stealing

Postby marthathefairy » Fri Sep 28, 2012 6:57 am

I have a dilemma, and really need your advice.. My stepson is 11, he has 3 sisters, and they all stay with us every other weekend. A couple of months back my stepson was (unbeknown to me) playing with my iPod touch. It usually lives in my desk drawer - the following week my Son (12) asked if he could use it, I said yes, but we couldn't find it. We know my stepson had it last, when asked where it is he just shrugged his shoulders, and his dad refused to press the issue.. I searched bedrooms, no sign of it, so figured I'd have to just put it out of my mind. Only problem is my son and stepson share the same school bus, my son said there's a lad on the bus with my iPod, when my son asked where he got it, he supposedly said my stepson gave it to him. This lad has now sold the iPod on, so I still dong know if it was mine or not. I just don't know what to think, is my stepson stealing from me, is my son lying to cover something up and get his stepbrother in to trouble? Should I just forget the who situation, and accept I'll never know the truth, or see my iPod again? Help!
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Re: Suspect my stepson is stealing

Postby ILoveChristmas » Fri Sep 28, 2012 9:00 am

I think on this occasion you have to weigh up the benefit of getting the bottom of the issue versus sparking tension between you and your husband, as it seems at first glance like he prefers not to entertain the idea that his son may have stolen it.

It pains me to say that though because I'd normally advise that people pursue the issue but here I suspect it may cause more issues than it solves. Is it possible that next time he's round you ask him to help you look for it?

Say something like "right <name>, I've been hunting high and low for this iPod and I can't find it anywhere. Since you were the last person to use it do you think you could come and help me have a look in case I've missed it?".

Of course you'd have to be quite careful with how you pitched it so as not to sound like you're accusing him. You never know, it may guilt him into admitting what's happened. Even if not you may be able to establish purely from his reaction whether your suspicions have merit. If he knows it's missing and knows there's no hope of finding it he's unlikely to put any real effort in, or he'll protest about looking in the first place.

Of course it goes without saying that you keep a close eye on other valuable items around the place just in case. Any ideas what his motivation would be? Is there something (a new Xbox game maybe?) that you know he's trying to get money for?
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Re: Suspect my stepson is stealing

Postby marthathefairy » Fri Sep 28, 2012 9:05 am

Yes, have tried asking him to help me look for it.. Told all children there would be no tv until it was found.. My son helped look for it, husband took stepson to the park to play football! So no, you're right, husband will not entertain the idea. Not sure of motivation, possibly money, possibly wanting to be the popular kid (why give it to someone else). I think sadly I have to just let it go, it's just so hard as husband is quick to criticise my kids... Oh the joy of step kids!
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