problems with the inlaws

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problems with the inlaws

Postby sharna » Wed May 09, 2007 5:57 pm

Up until recently i have got on well with my inlaws but the other day (in passing) i told my brother in law that things were not going great with his brother and that (stupidly, i know) i got annoyed and got his wedding ring and stamped on it (purely as a point of course).
Well you wouldnt believe what happened next...he only went and told his mother, she then had a go at me...
So rightly (well i think anyways) i sent my brother in law a msg asking why he told her, got no reply but the following day i get it again from my mother in law asking why did i send the txt as it had upset my brother in law...(never mind that he had upset me by blabbing) now her and my brother in laws wife are twisting everything i say, gossiping behind my back and trying to get my husband to leave me...
Has the world gone mad without telling me? or has someone just spiked their tap water? as i really dont understand whats happened!!
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Postby Moose » Wed May 09, 2007 6:37 pm

Hi Sharna,
This sounds like a classic case of blood being thicker than water. Yes, your in laws might get on well with you, but your partner is their relative, and when it comes down to it, he'll be the one they will support.

Have you got anyone else you can confide in and let off steam to when you fall out with your other half? That would probably be better than talking to his relatives.
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Postby sharna » Wed May 09, 2007 6:54 pm

well i've got the 'classic' best friend, the one whos always on hand with the box of tissues etc...as for the inlaws...i have no idea what to do (as knowing my luck if i say anything it'll just make things worse!) families eh!! :wink:
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Postby peecee » Wed May 09, 2007 8:12 pm

How's your husband behaving in all this? Does he know what's happened?

I would hope that he and you are appearing together in public :P , behaving normally, and giving his family nothing to latch on to. I would also hope that if they say anything to him about you, that he would simply shrug it off, as if it's such nonsense that he can't even be bothered to react to it.

Is he supporting you on this, petal?

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Postby sharna » Thu May 10, 2007 2:07 pm

the hubby? he's been on the receiving end of it all too, only thing is he's not much of a talker so it feels like i'm defending our corner all of the time.
it just seems that they can say whatever they like and whenever i try and put my point across, apparently i'm being unreasonable.
my husband wants to move away from it all but i dont want to be pushed out of our home...
yeah i admit we've had our problems like most people, i'm a pretty open kind of person, i used to bottle things up and i suffered for it, now it seems that being too open can be as much of a problem too.

well, as the situation stands at the moment, they're not talking to me and i'm now extremely wary of them, that if i do happen to say anything in front of them that it might get twisted or taken out of context.
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Postby Woman of Cats » Sun Aug 05, 2007 3:38 pm

Your husband should present a united front with you. Although it would be wrong to make him choose between you and his family, you are his wife and therefore have a right to expect that you should be his first priority. If his family are treating you badly, he should tell them that's not acceptable, and any problems you may or may not have in your marriage are none of their business. They need to get the message loud and clear that he WILL support you if they attack you, and if it continues they will end up damaging their relationship with him. This will be very hard for him to do, but until HE says it, it will always look like you're just being petty and jealous. If he loves you and cares about your feelings, he will do it.
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Postby sharna » Wed Aug 08, 2007 10:13 pm

:) have got the mother in law back on side now ( i think)
just the sister in law now thats being a bit of a pain with twisting things
but the only way (well best way i can think of) ...is just to be civil towards her, i guess its just part of life..some people you get along with and others....well...
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