Page 1 of 1

Man confusion

Posted: Tue Jun 19, 2007 9:22 pm
by poppylp
I've more or less resigned myself to being single for the rest of my life, my love life is practically non-existent.
I have two potential men neither of which seem particularly interested in anything long-term. One of the men I have known for 6 years and while we're friendly and keep in contact and 'get together' when neither of us are seeing anyone (from my side at least, I think (and hope) it's the same on his side), nothing has ever really developed. When we meet up we get on really well and have a good time but then I don't hear from him for weeks, sometimes even months. He seems to just blow hot and cold.
The other man is someone I met a few months ago, we went on a few dates and then he said that he wasn't ready for a relationship because he was screwed up from his previous girlfriend. We do meet up every now and again though and get on really well when we do.
Is there something wrong with me? Men seem to just want to 'have fun' and nothing more, apart from the kind of men who I really don't want to be involved with.

Posted: Tue Jun 19, 2007 9:47 pm
by Richard
"Men seem to just want to 'have fun' and nothing more, apart from the kind of men who I really don't want to be involved with."

In saying that I think you just identified the problem yourself.

You seem to have been content to accept having a "friend with benefits" (or f-buddy, or whatever you want to call him). for 6 years. And now you have another one. So you're attracted to men who aren't interested in a serious, committed relationship with you. There are men out there who are interested in something more serious, but you clearly don't find them attractive.

You say you want more, and I don't doubt that. But I think you have to face the possibility that deep down it's you who are scared of commitment.

I'd advise you to find a really good counsellor or (preferably) a psychotherapist and try to discover why you feel this way, and how to change things. Go for it - life is there to be enjoyed!

Posted: Wed Jun 20, 2007 10:57 am
by maninneed
does sound a bit like having your cake and eating it syndrome

sex without strings is man heaven to be honest.

I think that you do need to look at why you are attractwed to these situations and hopefully move forward with that

Posted: Wed Jun 20, 2007 1:45 pm
by Teenspirit
Everyone has a Mr Big.......

But I hope that isn't stopping you from finding something real........

These Men will only have a casual flex if you let them....Put your foot down and move on......

You wont find love whilst your clinging on to these casual guys......

It doesnt sound like it is doing much for your self esteem either.