My In Laws

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My In Laws

Postby Woman of Cats » Sat Aug 04, 2007 12:56 pm

Hi All. Just wanted a few impartial opinions about my in laws, especially my mother in law. Really, it's the old, old story of her refusing to let go, coupled with feelings of rivalry that I am maybe more important in her son's life than she is. At first, all was fine, but as I've got older and become more confident as a person, I've become less inclined to button up and say nothing when she talks rubbish. This goes against the grain somewhat, as they are a family who tend not to say what they think, while I'm more used to an outspoken set up. Anyway, recently I have begun training as a special needs teacher, having worked as a grammar school teacher for fifteen years. I have thought for some time that my husband may be very mildly dyslexic and recently I happened to mention this. I said I intended to test him and see. Ma in law's reply was a loud 'OH NO HE ISN'T! He had a reading age of 14 when he was 9. He's my son, I know all of children VERY well and he's NOT. If that test says he is then it's flawed etc etc' I kept my cool and said dyslexia wasn't just about reading and my hubby had other indicators, also there are varying degrees etc. Well to cut a very long story short, she refused to accept that I might know a bit more about it than she does (she worked as a primary school teacher for about two years nearly 40 years ago before her first child was born, whereupon she gave up work for good and has been a housewife and mother ever since.) But then my father in law joined in and the two of them began to completely rubbish my chosen career. Eventually, I got rather upset and stormed out, with my husband, but we did go back after a steadying drink at the local. There are several issues now:
1) I feel my husband should have stood up for me a bit more than he did.
2) While I would never try to stop my husband from seeing his family, he's not great at keeping in touch and I used to say 'It's about time you phoned your Mom'. I feel very disinclined to do this now.
3) In spite of the fact all but one of her five children have left home, she keeps all the bedrooms as they were and still refers to them as 'the boys' room' etc. I won't ever stay over while this is the case, as I refuse to sleep in a single bed like a child.
4) They have been quite unsupportive and negative about other life-changing plans we have made, in spite of the fact they could offer good advice. This hasn't happened, all we've had is negativity (passed off as 'It's natural for a mother to worry about her children' - to me, it's a vote of no-confidence.)
Sorry to go on, but this is all playing on my mind quite a bit. Any words of wisdom?
Woman of Cats
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