What should i do ?

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What should i do ?

Postby cliff » Sat Aug 25, 2007 2:38 pm

Hi all,
I am a single father and have had my daughter since she was 2 years old. She will be nine tomorrow.

I met and got engaged to my ex fiancee 6 years ago she moved in very quickly and took on "mum" role to my daughter. I was gald of this as my daughter only see her real mum once a year for 2 days and did not call her mum but by her christian name (this was her mums wishes). Things were great for the first year but we had money issues and i started getting thing on credit and loans, many of then were to pay off my fiancees loans and credit too. After a year we had a child of our own and things started to change.

She told me that now she had felt real love for a child and that she had no interest in my daughter. Thing went from worse to worse and she would shout at my daughter in the mornings and on some occasions my daughter would be too scared to come out of her room and be huddled in the corner. I was hoping things would change but after my fiancees mum died last year she totally went off the rails and was out every night till early hours of the morning and sometimes never coming home.

Eventually we split and she moved in with another bloke she had been seeing behind my back. This left me with my daughter again and was having to try and do a 40 hour week at work and take her to and from school, eventually I got made redundant as i couldn't do it.

Me and my ex ran up debts of 40,000 pounds but all the debt was in my name and she refuses to pay any of it. She said it's it my name and that it was my fault. I have had to declare myself bankrupt and will loose my house (she has also taken me to court to try to have me evicted). The house is in joint names and has made about 50,000 in three years. I know i have to sell the house and she will get 25,000 but it leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. I am bankrupt and she will walk away with 25,000

Anyway thats the story this is the problem... As i said earlier it's my daughters birthday tomorrow and she is so much happier now my ex has gone and all my friends and her school has commented on her change of attitude and happyness. Thing is my ex came round with a big bag of presents for her today and left them for her.

She is cold enough to have ny daughter and me seen homeless on the streets and treated her like rubbish whilst she lived here and we do not speak at all no more. She knows and has said that it's all her fault and she's sorry she ever met me and just seems to destroy where ever she goes. The thing is i do not want y daughter recieving presents from her and feel like giving them back. The other thing is ..is this just my bitterness getting the better of me ? after all it's my daughters day tomorrow and not mine .. I want to do what is right and not what may be the result of me being bitter !!!


many thanks for reading ..Cliff
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Postby worrylots » Mon Aug 27, 2007 7:06 pm

Dont accept the presents Cliff!
I remember a quote from a book ' Children remember presence not presents'. Your daughter is 9 ,she is old enough to know and she will understand the truth. Be strong, send the presents back they are just material things , Good luck, you both deserve better than this woman.
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Postby gatekeeper » Tue Aug 28, 2007 3:10 am

Ask your daughter if she wants them. I'm quite sure she'd understand what's going on and say no. Then, you can return the presents back to her and say "she doesn't want them."
Late at night when all the world is sleeping
I stay up and think of you and I wish on a star that somewhere you are thinking of me too...
So I wait for the day and the courage to say how much I love you
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