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Driver Instructor Makes Me Cry! Boo Hoo...

PostPosted: Thu Aug 30, 2007 9:16 pm
by The Lady
I have found it REALLY difficult learning to drive, but I'm getting there slowly. I have next to no confidence, and my instructor's method of throwing me in at the deep end has been unsuccessful to say the least, and caused lots of tears (mine not his haha). We had a talk and changed tactic to a 'confidence building one' but then just as I started to finally feel good about my driving he said 'right we'll practice breaking' on a tiny country road, I thought breaking? breaking + stopping? breaking to a slower speed, then speeding up? breaking and pulling over, then setting off again? what? while I'm thinking about all this (+worrying) he's trying to get me to change gear up and down and I just didn't understand what I was doing, why I was doing it or what it related to. I couldn't do it, he started tutting, saying 'no,no,no' and changing gear for me. I then put my foot down with a firm hand, stopped the car and said 'if we carry on with this, all the confidence I've built up will be completely gone within the next ten minutes.' I burst into tears, couldn't pull myself together properly and told him to drive me home.
He also keeps going on about drive miles away from where I live, he either wants my husband to take me there (50 minute car journey with a toddler in the back, when it's her lunch time anyway) or he'll drive me there, nearly halving the time I'll get for my lesson.
He's a lovely guy but all this is making me ill, every week it's something else reducing me to tears, it shouldn't be this painful to learn to sausage drive!!!!

PostPosted: Thu Aug 30, 2007 11:15 pm
by X_Smiler_X

Unfortunately, learning to drive can be stressful - but only if you let it get to that point.

Tell your driving instructor you aren't happy with the way he speaks to you, and that you would prefer him to take his time with you.

Try not to get yourself worked up - I know it isn't easy to learn to drive, especially if you are extremely keen to pass as soon as possible.

Take your time, take a deep breath and concentrate on what he is telling you, and if you don't understand what he is asking of you, or you are finding what he is asking you to do difficult to grasp, tell him.

As for the driving to a place to meet you, that isn't really appropriate. The whole point of it is he either picks you up from home or meets you somewhere that is suitable for you - that is what you are paying for after all!

K x

PostPosted: Fri Aug 31, 2007 9:55 am
by Moose
Personally, I'd just change instructors. My other half's daughter has had about 4 different instructors, and has only just found the one that suits her best (she's been learning a long old time). Learning to drive is expensive and stressful enough as it is, without having the added pressure of being taught by someone who makes you feel like that. Remember YOU'RE paying HIM, so you can change whenever you like. There are a few driving schools around here that give you half price introductory lessons to see how you get on with the instructor. Try someone new!

PostPosted: Tue Sep 04, 2007 10:56 am
by Weasley
I agree with Moose, I would look to continue learning with someone else. I had an instructor who used to make me drive him to pick up his kids from school AND take him shopping! I used to park on the car park and wait while he did his shopping! After 2 or 3 lessons of this (and me wasting £18 an hour) I went with someone else.
If it's a confidence issue, don't worry, everyone is nervous when they first learn to drive! Can't you get insured on your husbands car and get him to take you out in the mean time (just make sure you put your L plates on!) You may find been with someone you know will help you relax and build confidence. Also, I'm sure he will be a little more understanding and patience with you! I got my ex boyfriend insured on my old car and let him drive me out every other night between lessons. It really helped him!

PostPosted: Tue Sep 04, 2007 12:34 pm
by yessica
I found it very stressful learning to drive especially as I dont have a great deal of conifdence. I found it very hard to fight away the tears sometimes as my driving instructor can be very patronising and belittling and made me feel like a complete fool. Personally I would advise changing driving instructors. I havent yet btu I really want to. She doesn't seem to understand that not everything just comes naturally, it takes time. She says "you should be able to do this by now - it's the basics" and I've only had 5 hours! Don't you think that's a bit ridiculous? Well I do. It can be hard, but just try and show the driving instructor that you CAN do it. Practice before your lessons. I find this helps.

PostPosted: Thu Sep 06, 2007 11:51 pm
by The Lady
Five hours is no where near enough to get familiar with the basics!!! I reckon you should be familiar with the car, eg. cockpit drill,how to move the seat, how to adjust mirror steering wheel and all that stuff.
I had to write down how to start the car and memorise it... I say 'clutch gear gas bite! mirror, blindspot, signal, handbrake off and wheeeee off we go.' I may sound like a nutter but its worked for me!
I'm just like you Yessica, I've had to fight back the tears loads... I'd say change your instructor! remember that you're paying HER,if she isn't doing her job, she's sacked! (I've already taken my own advice!)
One tip for when you've messed something up and can feel yourself getting upset... forget about it, look ahead and think, whats next whats coming up, what can i do well so i'll feel better. Honest it works!

PostPosted: Wed Sep 12, 2007 2:26 pm
by sallycinnamon
I agree with the 'dumping' of instructors that aren't working out for you! i spent in excess of £500 on lessons with an instructor who was no good for my mental health and was no nearer sitting my test than the first time i sat in the car! eventually i realised i couldn't go on wasting my money, changed my instructor, was lucky enough to find a gem, had 10 lessons with him and passed my test first time! it is worth 'shopping around' if you don't feel you have a rapport with them or can't work to their method then please don't waste your money!

PostPosted: Wed Sep 12, 2007 11:34 pm
by The Lady
Thanks guys... I'm very relieved to see that it's not just me who's had difficulties. Now I'm driving with my husband, I'm so much more relaxed, I'm no longer ill for days before driving and I'm discovering that I'm actually a good driver!!!!

PostPosted: Mon Oct 01, 2007 10:13 pm
by crazy_in_love
hiya, when i first started driving my instructor would pick me up and the person before would still be in the car!!! I had to drive them home and then go pick up the next person! It was horrible as if i made mistakes or stalled it would take me longer to get them home.

I had paid for 10 lessons with that instructer...I managed 5 then never went back! I hated driving because of him but then I went with bsm and i loved them.

I have passed my test 3 years ago now and i still find myself in situations that im not prepared for and the panic sets in. it happens honestly. youll get there. good luck.