dont know what to do

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dont know what to do

Postby sandy » Fri May 09, 2003 7:47 pm

hi,my problem is i went with some1 19 years ago who was seperated from their partner.I fell very deeply in love with him and had his baby.Through both our families interference we had 2 end our relashionship but ive never stopped loving him.I met some1 else whom i grew fond of but have never loved, i explained everything 2 him at the time and told him i didnt think i could ever love any1 else in that way.He accepted it and thought through time i could learn 2 love him but its been 16 years now and i still never did.I do have feelings 4 him but not love.2 cut a long story short i moved a long way away from home 2 suit my family,anyway after years of trying 2 find him i managed 2, 2 years ago we still live long distance apart he has a wife and children we have met quite a few times since as he has travelled 2 see me,we discovered that our families had been sending us in all the wrong directions from each other, and 4 that i can never forgive them.My partner knows i talk 2 him on the phone and pc but doesnt know we have acctualy met up.My partner and me dont have a relashionship anymore i sleep in my daughters bedroom.Anyway when i met up with him again all those feelings were still as strong as the 1st time i ever set eyes on him.He also doesnt have a relashionship with his wife although he cares very deeply for his kids.I have been in and out of hospital with pre cancer on and off 4 years now and everytime it comes back its worse than be4, all ive ever wanted out of life is 2 be with this man but ive lost all confidence in myself ive put a lot of weight on,i suffer from psoriasis,i have false teeth which as yet i cant get round 2 telling him about.The last visit we nearly had sex but i stopped it using some stupid excuse but it was because of the teeth as when in our days ppl made fun of that kind of thing and this is really cutting me up inside.I am at present waiting 2 go into hospital again with the pre cancer which has spread to my bowels and cervix so i feel my time is running out and i just wish my confidence would come back and i could be back in this mans arms where i feel i belong as i love him so much.I am 43 and he is 41 so we aint kids anymore.His next visit is in June and i am keeping myself awake at night because of the fear of him knowing about my teeth and i so long 2 make love 2 him again.I cant keep putting it off as i put myself through so much torment over it please can some1 advise me asap :cry: :cry:
sandy
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hi

Postby buttercup » Sat May 10, 2003 2:08 pm

hi ya , its a very difficult situation!! you did have his child and then both sets of parents split uses up!! but you did move on and im sure you are happy with him but it doesnt compare to your feelings for the other guy!!
It is true you never get over your first to true love!! though there are children to be considered in the equation too!! he will always be a tempation though!! you dont know until you try!! you should tell your man that your meeting him though just so your not hiding anything!! talk to both of them and discuss how u feel and how you can resolve it
buttercup
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