Online friendships..

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Online friendships..

Postby JennaXXX » Sun Sep 16, 2007 5:44 pm

Can they ever work? More to the point can they ever develop and change like *real life* friendships.
Last year I *met* the most amazing friend online. We shared so many thoughts in really long emails and developed a really close bond. Although we hadn't met I felt closer to her then many of my real life friends. Which I guess is natural seeing as you share more online then you would normally. We emailed everyday and really supported each other. The problem came when she met another girl of the same forum(In person)We said it wouldn't come between us but now I feel things have changed. We still talk but its not as deeply and I feel like given a choice she would rather chat to this other girl..which I guess is natural but it still hurts. They see each other every few months now even though they live really far away from one another.I dont let people get to me normally but this girl who I have never set eyes on has made me feel as though I can be myself and be respected for it. People may think I am stupid for forming such a close online friendship but just like in real life I dont think it can be controlled as to who you connect with.

Anyway the main problem now is my jealously. I dont want to meet as I feel like I wouldnt match up to the other friend. They have the exact same interests and similar personalities and have become incredibly close. I cant help but feel really sad about it, like I have lost her and that things will never be the same.

Am I being unrealistic? She thinks that things CAN stay the same and that she cares about me in the exact same way as the friend she has met..But somehow I dont believe that. I keep wanting to end this friendship but being friends with her has bought so much happiness into my life and I will miss what we had. She says that things haven't changed and she is frustrated as to why I cant see that.I cant explain it except I just feel second best. I dont want to lose her from my life but at the same time cant carry on like this.

Anyone else been in this position before?
Whatever life throws at you, smile, hold your head up high and be the best you can possibly be.
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Re: Online friendships..

Postby retrochav » Sun Sep 16, 2007 9:39 pm

I dont think she has changed Jenna, i think you have.

You feel this other on-line girl has made you look inferior. Good friends dont have to have everything in common. Most of my mates are straight, I'm gay. Their in relationships, I'm single. Etc. etc.

What matters is carring for each other regardless. You have loads to offer in this friendship, the long emails bear testimant to that. Find out about this other girl, could a three way friendship develop?

Online mates, penpals, or face to face, every friendship does develop and sometimes they strengthen but other times fade. Its not a bad thing, and no reflection on the friends themselves, just a sign that their needs change.

One word of warning: Whilst its damaging to be paranoid on-line, we must be aware that people can pretend to be any gender, age, race etc online. Proffessionals tricksters will even have a collection of appropriate photos to "prove" they are who they say they. Never be put under pressure to meet an on-line friend.
whatever your problem someone else has been there and bears the scars.
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Postby LeiGh. » Wed Nov 07, 2007 10:03 pm

Yes I have been in your position.
I met a friend online and we were close for about 6 months and spoke daily, I told her my deepest secrets and we've recently drifted apart, for no apparent reason, but she has kept my secrets as I have kept hers so I appreciate what she's done for me.
I do wish we'd speak more sometimes but a lot of things are for the best.

There's that quote:

Why do all good things come to an end?

;)
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