boyfriends best mate

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boyfriends best mate

Postby veryconfused » Sun Nov 18, 2007 8:07 pm

I've been with my boyfriend for 4 and a half years. We live together, and his best mate also lodges with us (and has done for a long time). About 18 months ago, we got really close and kissed. It nearly went further, but we stopped before it did. However, 2 nights ago it happened again. He was sat next to me and put his arm around me then held my hand. After a while i let go and then asked him why he did it. He told me that he really wanted to kiss me and that he had thought about what happened between us every day. We did kiss, but then he said he couldnt because of my boyfriend. This is understandable, and maybe i should feel guilty too, but i fell out of love with my boyfriend a long time ago. I only stay because we have a joint mortgage, which is not really a good excuse. We dont have children or anything else, just the house.

This man has a girlfriend of his own, who he has been with for about 6 months, so I know he didnt just say this to try and get me in to bed or because he was desperate for sex. He said that we need to talk about it, which we are going to do tonight, as my boyfriend is at work. For the last 2 days i have not been able to think about anything else, i cant eat and feel really sick.

I really like him, but i know that to do anything would cause too many problems. I'm just really confused.
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Postby brfc » Sun Nov 18, 2007 8:39 pm

well at the end of the day you have got to think is it worth staying with your current b/f just because you have a mortgage. i personally think if you dont love each other anymore then its time too sell up and move on.

i dont think your b/f will take to kindly too you going out with his best mate so i think it,d be best too cool that until you have sold your house and moved on.

look into the future and think what you would like. no point staying just because of bricks and morter.

take care brfc
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Postby misskrystal » Sun Nov 18, 2007 8:51 pm

When I think about my future, as well as houses and financial security, I see romance and passion. If this is what you want from your life too, you have to end your relationship with your boyfriend. Although things may be fine, it's not the same as being in love. Things will be difficult at first, you'd need to sell the house and find somewhere else to live. You'd have to start dating again, but it really would be worth it.

If you do want to start a relationship with you bf's friend, then you need to give it time. Let your bf accept the break-up and give him time to move on. Then, when you feel that he's started to get his life back together, begin the new relationship, but take things slowly. You don't want to jump straight in, trying to recapture what you had with your boyfriend. This must be a completely new, fresh relationship, one which is also free from any guilt you would have if you simply left your bf for him.
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Postby veryconfused » Sun Nov 18, 2007 11:00 pm

the problem is that my boyfriend does love me. Also, his mate made some excuse and isnt coming back here tonight. I think that says it all. However, i think you are right about finishing this relationship and moving on.
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Postby Z3girl » Wed Nov 21, 2007 3:06 pm

I don’t like the sound of this guy - He has made a pass at his best mate’s girlfriend and also has a girlfriend himself - what a sleaze (sorry to be harsh but that’s the way I see it)....

Perhaps its time to end your relationship if you don’t love your boyfriend anymore and are only there because you share a mortgage....

1 thing I will say though - U never know what you have got until its gone and the grass is never greener...

All the best!
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Postby pink stripes » Wed Nov 21, 2007 3:44 pm

I agree with Z3girl here - the guys out ofo order to kiss you etc in the first place! Where's the respect for you and his best mate?

You are in a relationship simply because of a mortgage - this is not enough.

I think it's time to move on from this relationship and find someone who you can trully love.

His best mate has a girlfriemd and made a pass at you - that's out of order and he doesn't deserve you at all.

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Postby Bel Bel » Wed Nov 21, 2007 4:19 pm

It doesn't matter if your boyfriend loves you, you don't love him anymore and this is your life and you deserve to be happy
Yes keep away fom the best friend that won't solve anything as others have said
You need to sit down and tell you boyfriend that your realtionship has run it's course and you wan to move, it's better to do it without anyone else involved
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Postby HappyGoLucky » Wed Nov 21, 2007 4:32 pm

Hey, I agree with the others.

You don't love your current boyfriend now and it's best to end the relationship.

Like Z3girl here, I don't like the sound of your boyfriend's best friend. He has a current girlfriend and made a pass at you.

We did kiss, but then he said he couldnt because of my boyfriend.

He said that, but he has a girlfriend too!
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