I want him back

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I want him back

Postby kaztastic » Fri Jan 11, 2008 4:11 pm

I split up with my ex about 2 years ago, we were initally going to remain friends, but he got a new girl and she didn't want him in contact with me. The thing is I ended things and he had pretty strong feelings for me.
I wasn't a particualry good place when I was with him, and wanted to go off and make myself happy, and get my career on track and stuff.
New guys have come into my life, but they just don't measure up to him. I don't have the "banter" like I had with him. I am seriously thinking of getting in contact with him again, maybe meet for a coffee or something. Thing is I'm not sure that it would be fair...I'm quite sure he is still with this girlfriend. He probably wouldn't appreciate me contacting after all this time.. but it's drving me mad.. what do you think? Could I have screwed up my only chance of happiness?
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Postby Bel Bel » Fri Jan 11, 2008 4:58 pm

So firstly are you in a happy place now? will he really fit in that place ? will it be completely different than before?
You could suggest meeting for a coffee he may of course say no then you will have to leave it
Also even if he does meet you for the coffee don't be expectant that it will turn out the way you want, you may be more in love with who he was then than is now and he may not feel the same about you (after all you must have changed as your now in a happy place)
However it could work so the worst that can happen is he doesn't wnat to know but at least then you can put him behind you and move on properly
So basically I am saying go for it
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Postby missyx » Fri Jan 11, 2008 6:54 pm

Sorry Bel Bel, I have to disagree on this one!

1) You split up for a reason. Unless that reason has completely gone away, do not even contemplate getting back together.

2) He is with someone else. There is no happy ending there - either way, someone will get hurt, and I'm sorry to say it'll probably be you.

3) You say yourself he probably won't be pleased to hear from you. And you want more than friends, don't you? Could you handle being told to get lost, or him wanting to be friends and you having to watch him with someone else?

4) I don't believe you've given up your one shot at happiness, because I don't believe you get just 'one shot'. There is someone else out there who is perfect for you - but you won't find him until you are ready. And that means you won't find him until you are over your ex (easier said than done, I know).

Stay strong. This is a very painful time for you but you WILL get through it, and will look back on this point and laugh that you ever though he was the only guy for you.
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thanks

Postby kaztastic » Sat Jan 12, 2008 11:28 am

Hi guys,

Yeah I think you're right missy, in fact the first point you made is exactly the same thing I would say to someone else in my position. Isn't it funny how you can never take your own advice haha!

Cheers, time to move on once and for all :)
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Postby Bel Bel » Mon Jan 14, 2008 11:27 am

yeah but I split up with my now husband for a year, after 8 and a half years together, we got back together and are now married (5 an a half years later)
I do agree it's a risk and you have to be clear that you can sort out what it was you split up over but sometimes that can just be sorted by the fact you have been apart for a length of time (it does depend on what the reason was)
Yes IF he is still with the g/f that is an issue
More to the point if you are going to keep hankering over a guy who you spend your whole life day dreaming about sometimes it's better to be reminded of the reality so you can move on
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