neighbours

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neighbours

Postby skatti45 » Tue Jul 15, 2003 9:53 am

I have a problem with my neighbours:
I am 49 and my wife is 28, we have a little girl 5.
We live in a small private road. comprising of 6 flats (in 2 houses) and 2 complete houses of which we are one. We have 3 flats one side and 3 flats the other.
We have been here 5 years.
I am quite alternative (not in a hippy way) but I do like things that are 'not the norm' (again, in a purely wholesome way).
We were all friends. We would meet every sunny day on the lawn after work. We would drink and talk and generally enjoy each others company.
Idyllic,right?...
As my daughter grew older, I asked people to tone down their language (she was starting to pick up the f--- and the s--t words and repeating them at school). There were only 4 children in the neighbourhood (7years, 11 years and 13 years old). The other parents weren't bothered by it. The conversations in the garden got steadily worse, they became very sexual; at which point I would discretely leave and take my daughter with me.
A few other things happened with one particular neighbour who was going way too far (not just verbally) on several occasions. I took my leave each time.
Finally, I said something. Actually, I went over the top! Saying how disgusting it was that this particular woman should rub her husbands friends' crutch overtly at a house warming party of my wife's mothers. She wasn't in the room at the time, but she is so straight laced that I know she would have been horrified at this.
This particular woman and her family have declared war on me from that day to this.
As I arrive home from work, the people who used to say " ...come over and have a drink" stay looking at their knees. I say hi anyway.
They now tell lies about us and deny it. The husband takes every opportunity to talk me down to my wife saying how 'he (meaning me) thinks he's better than everyone else...'
The woman drinks a lot, I mean a lot. During this sunny weather she'll be drinking every night right in front of our house, there's usually two or three with her, but sometimes as many as 20.
The other neighbours 'don't want to get involved' but still get together in front of our house...just not with us.
My wife is no Saint, when she's had a few in the past, she's been outragious. But she's stopped that now that our daughters older.
One of the worst things I have said was that (during a row between some of the neighbours and my wife) this woman would a make a lousy Grandmother. They went loopy, the son pounced on me (knocking me down) and the woman threw her glass at me, cutting my head and arm.
Help!
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Postby mariamaria » Tue Jul 15, 2003 2:48 pm

The best thing to do is to just ignore them! They'll get sick of picking on ya and get bored and leave you alone. They might decide to pick on somebody else. It's like school. Ignore them and avoid them. If things get to the extreme, just move. I know you might not want to but it might just be the only way to do anything about this whole predicament.

Good luck x
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Postby Debs » Fri Aug 29, 2003 9:27 pm

You're in a bit of a predicament allright. I know what it's like living alongside the neighbours from hell. All you can do right now is do your
best not to provoke the situation further. Try not to let them wind you up. Don't react, if you can manage it keep saying hello and act normally. Don't get into any more slanging matches, it will just make the situation worse. You're in a no win situation, eventually if you play it cool, they will calm down. You'll never be best buddies again but you might achieve some sort of stalemate.
If you find that despite your best efforts things don't improve after a good time has elapsed, you might want to consider moving. Afterall, your wife and child's wellbeing are the most important things aren't they.
I hope it won't come to that, it might just blow over if you're lucky.
Stay cool and don't let them wind you up.
Good luck
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Postby saz » Tue Sep 02, 2003 8:38 am

As people have already said, ignoring them is one way to do things but it is quite hard to do. You have to be determined not to rise to their level and go about your life as normal.

Your only other option, drastic it may be, would be to move. I would not want to live near people like that. You need to be on friendly terms with your neighbours you never know when you may want to borrow something!

I also would not hesitate to call the police if they are violent towards you/your family again because behaviour like that is unacceptable.
Doesn't really matter what the eye is seeing
cos i'm in love with the inner being
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ignore it

Postby briz babe » Tue Sep 09, 2003 8:51 am

If you keep on retalating to them they will enjoy it and so the best thing is really forget them that will make them mad and revenge is sweet xx







Im here if you wanna talk xxxx
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Postby carrie » Sat Sep 20, 2003 10:05 pm

Hi there,I can't offer a solution i'm afraid, I would just like to say I really feel for you as I am in a similar situation & I know how difficult it can be having to live right next to people that have it in for you.Saying ignore them is easier said than done,i know.You & your wife sound like you are good parents & asking your neighbours to cut down on the language is definatly not unreasonable.As for your other neighbours,sounds like they don't want to be seen as taking your side incase they end up on the recieving end of their horrible behaviour! Just continue saying hi to them & being friendly & they will see that you are not what your other neighbours are trying to make out.I would suggest trying to talk things out with your troublesome neighbour but sounds like things have gone too far for that! Good luck
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