is it love?

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is it love?

Postby heartbroken » Mon Jul 28, 2003 8:03 pm

,m male, 39 and just left a very bad marriage of 12yrs.currently living at my parents.Two years ago i got friendly with a young girl via IRC.We talked about relationships, hols, just about everything really.She became involed with a lad who to cut a long story, did the dirty on her.I lissened to all her problems and tryed to be a friend to her.As i was in a bad marriage, she too in turn lissened to me.We have meet in real life, and she is, i think, beautiful.She is Asian, a student in a top Uni, very brainy lass,lol.I have found myself falling in love with her.She now knows this as we share everything, and she is ok about it.Because she is Asain, her parents are very strict about men.They would kill her if they found out i was 19yrs older( she is 20 )She says she loves me, but can/will never be able to show me.
So now to the point.Is it real love( i think about her everyday)We chat for hours on the phone, txt all the time.
She has told me that she cant love me the way i want and now i,m hurting like hell.
Could we stil be friends? Will i ever stop being in love with her? Can our friendship ever be like it was before i felt in love?

if you need more info, plz ask.

Thanks in advance
heartbroken
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Postby sovs » Wed Jul 30, 2003 12:22 am

Hi

This is a very tricky situation to be in and you must be feeling really mixed up.
There isnt a easy answer to this problem, and im not sure it will turn out how you want.
You must not push her as although this is hard on you it must be worse for her.
You have to be the one to decide about a on going friendship. Can you really just be friends, as you know it's going to be painful to love each other and never become more.
If it's going to cause hurt it might be worth not meeting in future and just calling or E mailing as im sure you don't want her to get in trouble with her family as it could destroy her life.
I know this must be painful but you must do the right thing by her.
Please post back if you want to talk more.
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Postby heartbroken » Wed Jul 30, 2003 6:08 pm

thankyou for taking the time to reply.Alot has happened in the last few days.We had a really big heart 2 heart and we both cried loads but, it really helped me sort out how i felt.I thought that NO contact might have helped, but she said that she would like contact, but she'd only reply if i contacted her.After a long think, i felt i needed her friendship and not her love more.She is ok with this, infact we are havin a laugh about it now which is helping alot.
heartbroken
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