Problems with my sex life

For problems with any other type of relative, neighbours, teachers, the milkman!
Forum rules
NEW USERS HAVE TO WAIT FOR THEIR FIRST POSTS TO BE APPROVED BY AN ADMINISTRATOR. Rules | Essential Information | FAQ | Support | Twitter

Problems with my sex life

Postby V » Wed Aug 13, 2003 10:29 pm

hello
hopefully somebody can help me.
I've gone off sex. When my partner of 7 yrs tries to touch me it irritates me. He's hurt and I'm hurt and I'm so very scared of losing him. My feelings for him haven't changed at all. I still love him as I did when we first met. I don't understand what's causing this. I just don't want sex anymore. We've always had a good sex life until a few mnths ago. I was always the one wanting sex but now I wouldn't care less if I never had it again. It's nothing against my man, I don't want sex with anybody.
I'm having the contraceptive injection could this be causing it?
I am extremely insecure when it comes to sex though. I use to find the odd porn mag and it would hurt me. It hurt as if he'd been having sex with another person when really it's nothing but it's something I couldn't deal with. He understands this and it's stopped.
I got into a time when I was curious about having sex with another woman with my partner's involvement (as I couldn't do it without his know how) we got chatting to people on the net and during this time we were having really good sex. But one day I got scared. I was going in too deep and knew I couldn't possibly go through with this as my jeolousy and insecurity panicked me. It hurt me seeing my partner talk to these couples and getting all into it.
He mentioned the other day how a couple of lesbians came into his work (as he works as customer services) and they started kissing in front of him. As soon as he said that I got depressed.
I could never have another guy like him. There is no other person on this earth that could treat me better. I know if he ever leaves me I will be by myself for the rest of my life as I couldn't be with anybody else.
I don't know whether these past problems have caused the problems with my sexlife but I don't know what I can do to get my libido back again. I can't give my partner sex but my emotions cannot handle him having any sexual relief from some other source (mag,vid etc) so it's a vicious circle.
He'll leave me in the end, then my life will be in pieces.

WHAT CAN I DO?

Please can someone help?
[/b]
V
Just Landed
Just Landed
 
Posts: 2
Joined: Wed Aug 13, 2003 9:58 pm

ok

Postby briz babe » Thu Aug 14, 2003 12:08 am

ok this happens to most people 1. you could go out and treat your self and try and make your self feel sexy 2. try foreplay to try and get you in the mood 3. porn is even good for some people.

best of luck

Im here if you wanna talk xx
User avatar
briz babe
One of the Crowd
One of the Crowd
 
Posts: 62
Joined: Thu Jul 31, 2003 12:10 am
Location: brislington

Postby winnie3n » Thu Aug 14, 2003 12:39 am

Hi V

Having read your other posts, I would have to say that one of the reasons you may be off sex is due to your depression.

I get like that, and when I do then we agreed that we would just cuddle and caress, with no pressure for penetration. Works for me.

Also, dont be worried about the porn magazines, I find that being open about them with my partner is the best way forward. And they can be a great source of humour with some of the jokes and articles.

With the threesome thing, I think that it may have been too soon for you to go into this. Dont blame yourself, I think we all think of wanting to do something like that. But if you are not ready for it or do not want it then your partner needs to respect that.

Have you read any books on tantric sex, they may be able to help you.

Above all dont worry about it, (easy for me to say) because it will all come back in time.

Take care


Winnie
winnie3n
Regular Visitor
Regular Visitor
 
Posts: 34
Joined: Fri Aug 01, 2003 12:54 am
Location: East Midlands

Postby sovs » Thu Aug 14, 2003 1:01 am

Hi

Talking about a threesome with your partner can really turn eachother on and make sex more enjoyable, but doing it would be another storie.
It really wouldnt be the way to go.
You would get insucure and jelous and it would end up with your relationship destroyed.

This is basically whats happened to you but before anything happened, which is why you've gone off sex.
You need to talk to your partner and explain this and tell him hes the only one you want to sleep with.
User avatar
sovs
Permanent Fixture
Permanent Fixture
 
Posts: 1590
Joined: Tue Jul 29, 2003 2:10 am

Postby starrie » Thu Aug 14, 2003 9:06 am

You do sound like you need to stop overanaylsing. If you worry too much this will put you off. Make a romantic evening. Have a bath together, rub each others feet! Sounds silly but feet do have reflexes that relax the whole body. I guess the point is for you both to relax. I take antidepressants which dull my sex drive but doing little things like this and building up really slowly does get me in the mood.
You also need to stop worrying about him leaving you. Talk to him - I'll bet he loves you to bits and would reassure you this isn't the case. :)
User avatar
starrie
One of the Crowd
One of the Crowd
 
Posts: 67
Joined: Wed Aug 13, 2003 3:16 pm
Location: Edinburgh

Postby saz » Thu Sep 11, 2003 10:18 pm

I felt very down whilst having the contraceptive injection. I noticed a big difference once i stopped having it and have heard from others that it made them feel depressed. I would see your GP straight away and talk to him/her about changing contraceptive. Also tell them that you feel very down and ask them for their help.

Good luck
Doesn't really matter what the eye is seeing
cos i'm in love with the inner being
saz
Taken Root
Taken Root
 
Posts: 2109
Joined: Sun Aug 10, 2003 7:23 pm
Location: Essex

Postby sovs » Thu Sep 11, 2003 10:25 pm

Saying that saz, my sister in law went on those injections and her period stopped altogether. She started getting bad stomach pains after a while and had tests done, and it turned out all the blood had congeled in her womb, and had to have it sorted out.
I just stick with condoms and have done for 3 1/2 years and havent had a problem yet (touch wood) lol.
User avatar
sovs
Permanent Fixture
Permanent Fixture
 
Posts: 1590
Joined: Tue Jul 29, 2003 2:10 am

Postby saz » Fri Sep 12, 2003 2:04 pm

Yeah i had two of those injections and had no periods for a year after having the last one. I didn't know when i was going to have another one so i couldn't go on the pill. I am rubbish with remembering to sort out contraception so I ended up pregnant with my daughter!

We now use condoms but the other night we forgot to use one. He is now half panicking half excited that i could get pregnant again! He wants me to have another baby but i wanted to wait a while. My periods are two months apart and last for ages.
Doesn't really matter what the eye is seeing
cos i'm in love with the inner being
saz
Taken Root
Taken Root
 
Posts: 2109
Joined: Sun Aug 10, 2003 7:23 pm
Location: Essex

Postby Andy » Fri Sep 12, 2003 3:42 pm

erm sorry prolly not the same comin from a male perspective, but i kinda have phases like that, i had phases of havin sex alot whilst being a relationship then not wanting any for ages then all of a sudden getting back into it, at the moment i got a new girl who wants to take things slow and it fine i dont miss it really think it's just a phase but these injection things could be causin it
Andy
Regular Visitor
Regular Visitor
 
Posts: 35
Joined: Mon Dec 16, 2002 6:20 pm
Location: Bedfordshire

LISTEN

Postby kinky_kylie_aka_babes » Sun Oct 26, 2003 6:24 pm

Me and my bf sometimes have our ups and downs and i just try and make things really kinky which is why im called kinky kylie and he enjoys it then or ............ one night make it really special and cook or go out and after lead him / her to the bedroom and then it will be really special.

''hope it goes well, good luck''
kinky kylie
''LIVE LIFE TO THE FULL AND sausage HAVE FUN''
User avatar
kinky_kylie_aka_babes
Regular Visitor
Regular Visitor
 
Posts: 49
Joined: Sun Oct 12, 2003 5:03 pm

Postby Fidel » Sun Oct 26, 2003 6:50 pm

hehe
i agree
Last night I dreamt that somebody loved me.
User avatar
Fidel
Taken Root
Taken Root
 
Posts: 2014
Joined: Fri Oct 10, 2003 10:12 pm
Location: Edinburgh
Gender: Male

Postby fudge » Tue Oct 28, 2003 12:59 am

hi
well i dont know if this will be any help to you but if thinking about having other people involved in yo sex life turned you on but you got frightend when it all got a bit to close then i would defanatly recomend porn :oops: that way you can have the girl on girl or male and female sex in the same room as you without the worrie of it going to far and its something you can both enjoy without feeling dirty or jelouse well it worked for me so you never know it might work for you to all i can say is you'll never know unless you try
good luck whatever you decide to do but whatever you do dont do it till you are ready or it could just put you off even more
love
fudge
User avatar
fudge
Regular Visitor
Regular Visitor
 
Posts: 42
Joined: Wed Oct 08, 2003 10:20 am
Location: england

Postby KoRn_Freak » Tue Oct 28, 2003 1:06 pm

I've experienced that: when you're just not in the mood, you feel a little under the weather and may have a lot on your mind, and the slightest touch aggrivates you. I wouldn't worry about it hun.

From reading the other posts, I agree that its down to some depression you may be experiencing. I think at this point, you should sit down with your partner and go back to basics in a way: get some communication flowing and express any confused or frustrated feelings you may be trying to deal with. In all fairness, he'll be the one who can help you through.

Hope it all goes well for you xxx
We've got a long way to go; when snow hits the asphalt, cold looks and bad talk come...
We've got a long way to go; it's beyond Martin Luther: upgrade computer.
KoRn_Freak
Part of the Furniture
Part of the Furniture
 
Posts: 556
Joined: Fri Mar 07, 2003 9:43 pm
Location: Heywood, Lancashire, UK


Return to And the rest...

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 4 guests