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what should I do?

PostPosted: Mon Dec 05, 2011 11:30 am
by domesticqueen
I went to the doctors to get the pill just to keep my mum happy and have been back a few times to get it again, but I have never taken it because me and my partner want a baby. We have been together 2 years and have never used any form or contraception. We are having no luck and it is making me really depressed. We have only been trying the last 14 months. My mum has polysistic ovaries and I don't know if that's gynetic? Should I go to the doctor and tell her that I am having problems trying to convieve? I'm scared she will think I am lying about it and that I have been taking the pill but I haven't. Me and my partner and both in our 20s. We want this more than anything. What can I do?

Re: what should I do?

PostPosted: Mon Dec 05, 2011 2:17 pm
by Bel Bel
iF YOU DON'T LIVE AT HOME IT ISN'T YOUR MUMS CHOICE TO DECIDE WHETHER YOU HAVE A BABY OR NOT. Opps on caps :oops: If you don't live at home tell your mum you are old enought to make your own decisions and you are thinking of getting pregnant. That way she doesn't have to knwo you didn't take the pill before
Stress will be the biggest reason you aren't getting pregnant. Try not to make it the be all and end all of your world. Enjoy yourself and be halehty and hopefully it will happen. If still nothing in 6 months then you can go to the doctor. I know several people who have got pregnant with polycystic ovaries. In fact a friend recently had IVF and gave up on ever getting pregant. As soon as she gave up she feel naturally and she has polycystic ovaries.

Most improtantly are you finacially able to look after a baby?

However if you live at home then you need to consider the fact your mum obviosuly doesn't want you there with a baby? What will you do if she chucks you out. You will be placed in a hostel for several months before being housed (or put in a flat most likely). Are you sure this is what you want whilst pregnant. Many hostels don't let your partners stay and you may even be there after the baby is born.

Re: what should I do?

PostPosted: Mon Dec 05, 2011 2:24 pm
by snail
There is a genetic link with polycystic ovary, but if you had it I think you'd probably have symptoms. Whether or not you have a problem with your fertility is something you will have to go and see your doctor about and discuss it. If you want to admit how long you have been trying to conceive unsuccessfully you will have to own up about the Pill. Otherwise you could just say that you are considering starting a family and are worried about your chances, due to your mother's condition.

It's more concerning that you've been pretending to be on the Pill. Why does your mother care about your being on the Pill, and why would you go to the lengths of actually seeing the doctor and repeatedly requesting a drug you never intended to take? Do you live with your mother? If so, then you need your own place and a stable situation with your partner before you consider starting a family.

Re: what should I do?

PostPosted: Tue Dec 06, 2011 6:52 pm
by highlandcow
snail wrote:It's more concerning that you've been pretending to be on the Pill. Why does your mother care about your being on the Pill, and why would you go to the lengths of actually seeing the doctor and repeatedly requesting a drug you never intended to take? Do you live with your mother? If so, then you need your own place and a stable situation with your partner before you consider starting a family.


I was wondering that too! Is it a religious thing? Maybe she would rather you were married or something or maybe she's concerned that you might not be financially ready. Are you financially ready? If you are and you're in a healthy, loving and supportive relationship and preferably in your own place with your partner, then, really, you're old enough to make your own mind up about starting a family.

With regard to the Pill, you really ought not to be pretending to be on it. Say you suffered with migraine or chest pain, if you went to the docs they'd just say "oh! That's a side effect of the Pill" and they wouldn't look further into the problem until they'd eliminated the risk of oral contraceptives. If the Pill is listed on your medical records, then a doctor will assume things (increased risk of stroke, certain cancers, heart disease etc). It's best to stop the pretence, and set the record straight. It's not worth the risk, just to keep up a pretence with Mum. I'd also come clean to your mum too. After all, you're old enough to make your own choices.

End of lecture. (Sorry) :roll:

If you are trying for a baby, PCOS can be a factor if you have it. Get checked out if you're concerned but you'd have other symptoms if you did. My best friend has PCOS and conceived a healthy, very naughty little boy. :)