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Moving Out

PostPosted: Mon Sep 17, 2012 4:17 pm
by rufio89
Hi all,

I know I posted a few weeks ago about living arrangements but this is a slightly different topic so I thought I'd start a new thread (but mods feel free to merge them if you think that's better).

Basically, I dont like living with my housemate. He moved in because I needed someone to split the rent and he is a really nice guy but he's messy and he's loud and we just dont have any common ground - I feel constantly guilty about it but I just dont really like him, I dont enjoy talking to him and I find myself constantly finding ways that I can avoid being at home.

So, I've decided that it's time for me to move out. There's a guy I know that I might live with (which is what I posted about before) OR I will get a place on my own. I've had a couple of viewings of places but the lease isnt up until the 31st October so I have to stay until then.

My issue is: It's a joint lease on the flat I'm in now with my housemate, so if I moved out, he technically would have no obligation to leave but EVERYTHING in the house is mine except his bed. (so the sofas, table, TV, shelves, pots & pans, plates, cutlery, his wardrobe, bedside table and shelves), so although he wouldnt HAVE to leave, it would be difficult for him to stay as he would have to furnish the entire flat.

I know I need to tell him that I'm leaving so he has time to either find somewhere new or get hold of all this stuff, but I am TERRIBLE at having these sorts of conversations. I know him through a friend and she said that he's always raving about how much he loves living with me, so I'm worried I'm going to hurt his feelings. Does anyone have any ideas on how I can let him down gently? I've been putting this off for weeks now and I think I really just need to bite the bullet but I have absolutely NO idea what to say to him!!

Re: Moving Out

PostPosted: Mon Sep 17, 2012 6:32 pm
by mattmxl
Just word it in such a fashion that it makes it sound like you are moving on up or fancy a change of environment. "I feel the need to move out and find a new place to live, its nothing you've done, I just feel I'm stagnating here" etc etc. That way, he has no idea that it's him that irritates you. Explain the stuff is owned by yourself so is going with you, which gives him the option to get looking for a new place there and then should he now wish to remain. If he suggests coming with you to your new place, thats easy, its either "a total change of scenery I need" or "there is already someone to share with in the new place", whichever he might take the easiest.

Re: Moving Out

PostPosted: Thu Sep 20, 2012 10:09 pm
by Tarantula
Disagree with above. I think honesty is the best policy.

If someone felt that way about YOU,would you prefer the truth or a crock of lies?

Don't answer that.

My point is, it sounds like he deserves a proper, straight-down-the-middle explanation. Although given that he likes you so much, I find it strange that you find him unbearable to the point of wanting to move out. Since you're not wanting to give him an honest explanation, I take it you haven't exactly had words with him about what's bothering you (stop me if I'm wrong)? Perhaps if you told him to pull his socks up he would, and if not, then that's your explanation sorted by default.

Just be real with the fella, he may not like the sound of it in the short term, but you never know, you may be indirectly giving him the opportunity to better himself in future!

'Basically I'm annoyed by your messiness and loudness to the point where I wanna move out, I don't mean to personally attack you but that is the reality of how I feel. And that's that. Ya get me brethren?'

Re: Moving Out

PostPosted: Fri Sep 21, 2012 3:25 pm
by rufio89
Well, I found somewhere to live so I told him. (this is the house for anyone who is interested http://s42.photobucket.com/albums/e312/ ... er%20Road/)

I couldnt bear to tell him that stuff B_C but I told him I needed a change of scenery. He looked a little relieved to be honest and said he would get one of his friends in so I dont think it'll be a problem at all. Phew!

for the record, I have mentioned his mess to him many many times but I've tried to say it in such a nice way that he may have taken it as an observation rather than a complaint!!

Re: Moving Out

PostPosted: Fri Sep 21, 2012 4:02 pm
by Bel Bel
Looks great.
When do you move in?

Re: Moving Out

PostPosted: Fri Sep 21, 2012 7:13 pm
by highlandcow
Well that all seemed to go OK!

When is the moving date? *coughPPHOUSEPARTYcough*