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partners son

PostPosted: Mon Oct 28, 2013 9:55 pm
by meme45
My partners 23 year old son stays with us three nights a week and has done for the past two years.He never offers to pay his way,he can't drive and so realise on his dad to get him to work.He works with his dad as he also needs his dad to find work for him.
my partner won't divorce his wife because of son and complicated housing issue.
I cook for his son but don't see or say anything to or about him.Try and keep the peace as I know I wouldn't stand a chance against his son.
I get more and more angery,I feel I'm going to burst.
He expects to have everything given to him.
Felt so annoyed today as he is now putting desk in spare room.was thinking things may change and he may start to grow up and get his own place,but feels like he's making room his own.
I could go on about how he can't make his bed when I leave clean sheets and so on.
How can I deal with my anger I will lose my partner if I say anything.
This is not how I thought it would be.I though at 23 he would be a man ,independent, and responsible.Thought we would be friends.

Re: partners son

PostPosted: Tue Oct 29, 2013 10:44 am
by Bel Bel
If your partner is willing to support his son in this way he will never grow up. You really only have the option of having a discussion about it and setting some rules. Why do you have to cook? Make him cook his own food. You aren't his maid.

I assume the house is both of yours?

If your partner picked his son over you because he isn't being responsible that's very sad.

The problem is that you cannot go on like this. Perhaps you should start the conversation with what age do you think he will finally leave home? Perhaps we can help him get more independent, like looking for flat shares for him etc.