Obsessed with my dominatrix!

For problems with any other type of relative, neighbours, teachers, the milkman!
Forum rules
NEW USERS HAVE TO WAIT FOR THEIR FIRST POSTS TO BE APPROVED BY AN ADMINISTRATOR. Rules | Essential Information | FAQ | Support | Twitter

Re: Obsessed with my dominatrix!

Postby Jw1246 » Thu Sep 08, 2016 11:47 pm

Haha don't worry and awwwww thank u :) I sent it about half an hour ago lol I feel relieved just doing that. She must get endless texts sexual based so maybe she will at least see I do want know her for herself. This Manchester thing needs sorting too lol I think I watch too much coronation street haha. If u took her accent away I'd be nowhere near as interested! My mind is really strange tbh!!!! I focus on really little things that most people wouldn't notice and become fascinated with little details. I do agree about not going to another one because at least meeting her I don't see me finding one I like as much so I probably wouldn't bother trying.

It's all well and good people will say oh there's places you can meet people into this sort of thing and yes there is to an extent and I'm not been stereotypical but I really don't look the type at all. I think they would be a bit like wtf!! I worry about long term because however much I like a girl I know I need this or if not the physical side then at least a very domineering personality. I don't know if it's what I am used to as female authority was normal In my life. I don't resent that at all because from an early age I knew to respect women but it seems to have gone so far as I want to bring it into my adult life. I have also noticed like at work if I fall out with a male colleague I know it sounds awful but they end up feeling terrorised by the time iv finished lol. If it's a nice woman though asking for something I pretty much do what they say immediately and make it really obvious they are the boss. I think I like the fact men are intimidated by me but I can quickly switch and to a woman be this nice sweet boy who daren't even speak unless I'm told to! So sometimes when I see my dominatrix it all feels really natural. These are certainly not things iv asked for btw but she likes me kissing her feet. To a normal person that would obviously be really weird but when I do it feels really right.

I do have questions about how fun one of them relationships might be though when it is one hundred per cent real. I will try and not be too graphic but there have been times she's belted me and iv been clinging to the pillow praying for it to be over. I won't go any further But it's not like a slow controlled thing, more of a whipping. If someone was doing that to me on a daily basis I'd imagine the novelty can wear off quite quickly! There are also parts of what she does I don't find too alluring, the slave thing, the way some of it borders on physical, emotional and financial abuse,if I ever had anything with her I'd want it to be equal but for her to have control.

I have also read about like pushing boundaries etc. I admit iv done some pretty questionable stuff in my time before law and part of me wants to be disciplined for that I think. There is quite an attraction to having a person make rules and effectively saying 'if you do this then you know what will happen', I like there been a consequence to my behaviour. I have been reluctant to disclose a lot of that to my dominatrix because once she finds out I like been punished for real life decisions she's likely to indulge that and god knows how I'd stop going then!! I promise this is not going to be much longer but I'm also wondering whether spanking is the only way to release these feelings. The actual activity itself is not much fun and regardless of how beautiful the woman doing it is once you are actually been smacked it could be anyone! It's also too painful to actually enjoy any of it. I think it's the 'do as I say' element I want from a woman and spanking is just an obvious way for the woman to have control. Wtf am I going to do haha
Jw1246
Just Landed
Just Landed
 
Posts: 7
Joined: Wed Aug 24, 2016 9:23 pm
Gender: Male

Re: Obsessed with my dominatrix!

Postby fairy of darkness » Fri Sep 09, 2016 2:23 pm

haha I am actually moving to Manchester myself in just over 2 weeks, I love northern accents too! Probably because I don't really have an accent being from the South East

Well i wonder if by now she has replied to you...if she has I hope it has turned out OK, and if not then you know where you stand hopefully.

I think that maybe you would do well with some form of therapy? It sounds like you just need some help untangling whats going on in your mind. You don't have to have a mental health issue to have therapy or anything, and maybe you could use the money you spend on her on that instead to see if you can get a clearer understanding of what might be going on for you. I accessed therapy for various feelings I had around destructive behaviours and I can honestly say it was so worth paying for and I still see her now (last appointment next week before i move which is sad). It just helped me separate one thought from another and it gave me a better understanding of why I behaved in certain ways. The result has been a calmer version of myself, still thrill seeking and self destructive in ways but I can see why i do things and find it easier to see what is bad for me.
I often find myself talking non stop for half an hour and saying things i didn't even know i thought, which is a little unnerving, but our subconscious is so vast and locks things away without us even knowing, I suppose I gained some more self control and self respect as well.

Obviously I don't know who needs therapy and who doesn't but it just sounds like it might be a useful tool for you at this point if I look at what helped me.
Constantly moving
User avatar
fairy of darkness
Part of the Furniture
Part of the Furniture
 
Posts: 677
Joined: Wed Jan 19, 2005 7:40 pm
Gender: Female

Re: Obsessed with my dominatrix!

Postby fairy of darkness » Wed Sep 14, 2016 11:52 am

give us an update soon :)
Constantly moving
User avatar
fairy of darkness
Part of the Furniture
Part of the Furniture
 
Posts: 677
Joined: Wed Jan 19, 2005 7:40 pm
Gender: Female

Previous

Return to And the rest...

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests

cron