by snail » Fri Aug 26, 2016 7:42 am
I agree with David. I had a close friend who was addicted to prostitutes - many things in your posts remind me strikingly of things that he said. Like you, he tried others first but became addicted to one particular woman. She was extremely good at what she did, I'll give her that. It was more about the mental side of it than the physical really, like you - but then it always is (like you, they didn't have intercourse). He ended up tens of thousands of pounds in debt, and eventually after some years of this lost his home to pay the debts. She owned a fantastic house on the river in London with what she made. Needless to say, my friend couldn't maintain a normal relationship with a woman either as a result of this, so it was all pretty miserable for him.
Go and see a relationship counsellor/sex therapist, and work out what this relationship is giving you, and why you need that. Then work out how you could get that in a normal relationship, or in your normal life. You're on a road that, taken to the full extent, could well lead to a life of poverty and loneliness.
These mountains that you are carrying, you were only supposed to climb.
Najwa Zebian