Threes a crowd

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Threes a crowd

Postby Ladyofleisure » Mon Nov 06, 2017 11:56 pm

I wrote previously on
here about an issue with my boyfriend's lodger,well she is still around! she is In her 40s,been there over 20 years, single, rules the roost, does not pay any household bills, and has dogs,my boyfriend has asked me to move in, but ive refused as i dont think I could cope with another person being there.she is just all about the dogs, and after a couple of run ins with her selfish behaviour - her tv on all night - we gave her 6 months notice, which she ignored, I dont want to throw anyone on the street, but I dont think she is bothering. We want to do the house up together, but I dont like going there, with no privacy and the atmosphere is tense.We are in our early 60s so I feel frustrated that someone else is controlling my future.We have been together 4 years but am stuck because of her!Shall I stick at it or move on because I just feel she is not moving!
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Re: Threes a crowd

Postby snail » Tue Nov 07, 2017 11:02 am

Hi LadyofLeisure

Would this be your original post?

viewtopic.php?f=3&t=24156

I'm sorry to see that nothing appears to have changed in two years. I would give him an ultimatum now to be honest - her or you.
These mountains that you are carrying, you were only supposed to climb.

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Re: Threes a crowd

Postby Ladyofleisure » Tue Nov 07, 2017 12:30 pm

Yes, thank you, that's my original post. The ultimatum was to give her notice, which happened, and a letter for her to take to Citizens Advice for help, she has cleared alot of stuff from the house, so it looks more like my boyfriend's place and not hers now, but she doesn't earn enough to pay proper rent and there are 3 dogs too, she just hides in her room when im visiting.Then it all goes back to usual routines when im not there.
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Re: Threes a crowd

Postby snail » Tue Nov 07, 2017 2:20 pm

Yes, I understand why she doesn't want to go - the housing situation in this country is very difficult - but if she's in her forties, she has to look after herself. It might do her a favour to be forced to exert herself and change, since she doesn't seem to have much of a life.

Your partner will have to legally evict her by force, since nothing else will work. If she's been asked to leave his house and hasn't gone, she's clearly abusing him, so she doesn't deserve to be worried about. I would still stick with an ultimatum for her to be out by a certain date. It sounds like your partner is trying to do something, at least.
These mountains that you are carrying, you were only supposed to climb.

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Re: Threes a crowd

Postby Ladyofleisure » Tue Nov 07, 2017 4:55 pm

Yes, my thoughts exactly, you are spot on. Thank you for your input.
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Re: Threes a crowd

Postby stephie2 » Tue Dec 05, 2017 2:03 pm

I think she has to go if you are going to be able to move forward in your relationship. Her housing situation is not your problem or your partners. Life is short and you need to be able to live yours to the fullest whether she likes it or not.

Get an eviction notice arranged and start to live your lives for the better.
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Re: Threes a crowd

Postby Ladyofleisure » Tue Dec 05, 2017 2:27 pm

Thank you Stephie 2 for your input, thats my thoughts, Im fed up being the bad guy and nagging, while my boyfriend buries his head in the sand, but come the new year, things must change!
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Re: Threes a crowd

Postby stephie2 » Tue Dec 05, 2017 2:30 pm

Well your relationship cannot move forward until he does face up to this and if he refuses to move it along then it is not saying much to his feelings for you. Lets home he sorts it out :)
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