Think my father-in-law is having an affair

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Think my father-in-law is having an affair

Postby Stresses » Tue Nov 11, 2003 10:51 pm

I've thought for a while now that my boyfriends dad was having an affair. he's never around, he always works late, works away from home, & there's just something dodgy about him.
Tonight I saw him shopping with a woman - not his wife - at half 9 at night. Who goes shopping at that time with someone they aren't in a relationship with ? Well my mind started racing & I followed him to one of the nicest estates in the town.
What do I do ? Do I tell my boyfriend now ? Do I wait a bit & see if I can catch him again ? Do I keep it to myself ? It's doing my head in.
Help !!!!!!!
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Postby depman » Wed Nov 12, 2003 1:27 am

Hmmm difficult one this
I think the only two things you can either do is
1) keep quiet or
2) Tell your boyfriend
But its not nice to be cheated on so maybe its about time this cheat was rumbled but make sure that he is definatly cheating if you tell your boyfriend and if you do tell him be prepared as it will cause a lot of distress in the family if it all gets out
But its not nice to be cheated on
Think carefully before you act you have to be certain he is cheating if you tell your boyfriend
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Postby saz » Wed Nov 12, 2003 8:21 am

Oh dear this is a horrible situation for you. I would also be gagging to tell someone but you know that sometimes the messenger gets the stick, or you could have your wires crossed so tread carefully.

If you have worked it out and you are his sons girlfriend then i am sure that his wife and family are also suspicious. He is being a bit daring going out in public with her and sooner or later he will make some sort of mistake and his wife will find out. She may already know or it might be totally innocent.

It is up to you whether you say anything, i dont think i would say anything to my boyfriend in this situation. You could just casually mention to your boyfriend that you saw his father out shopping without saying he was with a woman, or innocently ask who the woman was. I just dont think it would be fair to involve your boyfriend because it is his own father and then he would feel pressured into telling his mum and probably really hate his dad for a while.

They are grown adults and need to sort their relationship out privately. If you really want to say something, say it to his father! Tell him that you saw him out with a woman and now you dont think it is fair that you have to keep it secret from everyone. If he thinks you might say something then he might stop the affair or come clean now that someone knows.
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Postby saffyre » Wed Nov 12, 2003 8:25 am

I think in the same situation I'd probably slip it into conversation, next time we were talking about that shop or something - just like "oh, saw your dad there the other day... he was shopping with someone I don't know" - not saying any more than the facts, so not making flase accusations, but so your b/f is aware? then if he knows who it might be, he can say, and if not, you can talk about it together...

That's just what I'd do, but I don't know if that's best... (disclaimer...!)
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