Do i send my x a christmas card on behalf of our baby?

For problems with any other type of relative, neighbours, teachers, the milkman!
Forum rules
NEW USERS HAVE TO WAIT FOR THEIR FIRST POSTS TO BE APPROVED BY AN ADMINISTRATOR. Rules | Essential Information | FAQ | Support | Twitter

Do I send my ex a christmas card on behalf of our baby?

Poll ended at Mon Dec 15, 2003 3:20 pm

Yes
3
75%
No
1
25%
 
Total votes : 4

Do i send my x a christmas card on behalf of our baby?

Postby littlemonkey » Mon Dec 08, 2003 3:20 pm

Do i send my ex a christmas card on behalf of our baby?
littlemonkey
Familiar Face
Familiar Face
 
Posts: 150
Joined: Thu Nov 20, 2003 2:27 pm
Location: London

Postby saz » Mon Dec 08, 2003 3:24 pm

You could send a card on behalf of your son it is up to you whether you want to carry on trying to get in contact with him. He might not reply or send one back and then you might be upset and feel let down.

As a father he should be the one to make the effort not just at christmas but all year round. For your son's sake you could give one to his mother to pass on then at least you have made the effort at christmas.

It might not make him feel guilty, enough to come over but then again it might so perhaps it is worth a go.

Good luck.
Doesn't really matter what the eye is seeing
cos i'm in love with the inner being
saz
Taken Root
Taken Root
 
Posts: 2109
Joined: Sun Aug 10, 2003 7:23 pm
Location: Essex

Postby littlemonkey » Mon Dec 08, 2003 3:33 pm

if i did send one it wouldn's be to expect something back and your right I would send it through his Mum if he does comes over to see her ever.

Just wanted to no if it was the right thing to do or not or if its just being extra.
littlemonkey
Familiar Face
Familiar Face
 
Posts: 150
Joined: Thu Nov 20, 2003 2:27 pm
Location: London

Postby saz » Mon Dec 08, 2003 3:42 pm

I just dont want you to get your hopes up that it will have an effect on him. Be prepared for any situation - christmas can make people want to see their families or he might have gone too far to come back now - he has made his bed and is lying in it it seems.

Give one to his mother and see how it goes. His mother must be so disappointed in him and will probably give him a good talking to over this.
Doesn't really matter what the eye is seeing
cos i'm in love with the inner being
saz
Taken Root
Taken Root
 
Posts: 2109
Joined: Sun Aug 10, 2003 7:23 pm
Location: Essex

Postby littlemonkey » Mon Dec 08, 2003 3:48 pm

she's lovely. i'm spendin this week there and will spend xmas there but she's so upset she's feels like she doesn't want to celebrate.

she is very disappointed in him.
littlemonkey
Familiar Face
Familiar Face
 
Posts: 150
Joined: Thu Nov 20, 2003 2:27 pm
Location: London

Postby saz » Mon Dec 08, 2003 3:55 pm

I feel really sorry for her too because as a mother there isn't a lot you can do apart from watch and then pick up all the pieces afterwards.

Hopefully he will one day realise how lucky he is to have a mother and baby son who love him and give something back to them.

Have you been to see the doc or HV yet? Just wondering how it is going
Doesn't really matter what the eye is seeing
cos i'm in love with the inner being
saz
Taken Root
Taken Root
 
Posts: 2109
Joined: Sun Aug 10, 2003 7:23 pm
Location: Essex

Postby littlemonkey » Mon Dec 08, 2003 4:00 pm

Whats weird is after he left we had to accept all the deciet. ?Due to reason in the past his mum hates his GF, but he could have had it all his present partner, acsess to his son and his mum, i don't know he's being difficult

i'll be seeing the HV wednesday afternoon.
littlemonkey
Familiar Face
Familiar Face
 
Posts: 150
Joined: Thu Nov 20, 2003 2:27 pm
Location: London

Postby saz » Mon Dec 08, 2003 4:05 pm

He is probably trying to keep her happy. It is quite likely that she is very jealous of you - you have his baby which means you are forever linked to him and this can cause a lot of tension. Either she has said he cant have contact or he stays away to keep her happy.

I cant see that he is happy with the situation and over time he will build up resentment towards her - she is the reason he has left all his family and if it all goes wrong he will blame her. In years to come he will realise what a selfish decision he has made and regret it.

Let me know how you get on with the HV i hope you can talk to her about how you are feeling and get things off your chest. Ask about mother and baby groups too, they are good i do enjoy going they get you socialising.
Doesn't really matter what the eye is seeing
cos i'm in love with the inner being
saz
Taken Root
Taken Root
 
Posts: 2109
Joined: Sun Aug 10, 2003 7:23 pm
Location: Essex

Postby littlemonkey » Mon Dec 08, 2003 5:43 pm

i don't even know if he's told her, the last time it was mentioned i was epregnant but wasn't there he said the baby might not be his infront of her, her parents and his mum. He wanted to be on the birth certificate so i let him, more for our son then for him. But i on't know if he's told her the truth.

If i tell her she'll only accuse me of trying to cause trouble or being jealous.
littlemonkey
Familiar Face
Familiar Face
 
Posts: 150
Joined: Thu Nov 20, 2003 2:27 pm
Location: London

Postby saz » Tue Dec 09, 2003 8:18 am

Well if he hasn't even told her about the baby it is going to cause problems when she does find out. She is going to be furious that he never told her. He knows the baby is his and so does everyone else but by pretending to her that it isn't it gets him off the hook.

No i agree dont get involved in their relationship but if those two stay together, she is going to know one day and she probably wont like it very much.
Doesn't really matter what the eye is seeing
cos i'm in love with the inner being
saz
Taken Root
Taken Root
 
Posts: 2109
Joined: Sun Aug 10, 2003 7:23 pm
Location: Essex

Postby depman » Tue Dec 09, 2003 10:30 am

With christmas coming
Families do get together and so forth
So if he has any respect for your child you should let him approach if he wants to
As you are just going to have hopes and if he doesnt want to know you are going to upset yourself
Good luck :wink:
Glory Glory Tottenham Hotspur!
Glory Glory Tottenham Hotspur!
Glory Glory Tottenham Hotspur!
When the spurs go marching in

Image
depman
Permanent Fixture
Permanent Fixture
 
Posts: 1015
Joined: Thu Oct 16, 2003 2:58 pm
Location: west sussex

Postby littlemonkey » Tue Dec 09, 2003 11:11 am

i do really want him to care but he's so stuborn, i think wan't to mean a little to him too. Should i let him know if wants to see the baby he can that i'l leave him at his mums for a couple of hours
littlemonkey
Familiar Face
Familiar Face
 
Posts: 150
Joined: Thu Nov 20, 2003 2:27 pm
Location: London

Postby Bubble » Tue Dec 09, 2003 1:47 pm

I think you should. x
Nuff Love
*Donna*
xxxxx
User avatar
Bubble
Part of the Furniture
Part of the Furniture
 
Posts: 799
Joined: Thu Dec 19, 2002 9:02 pm
Location: Kent

Postby saz » Tue Dec 09, 2003 8:23 pm

It would be a really good idea to offer to do that because then you are leaving the door open for him, and he will probably feel more comfortable this way. If he knows that you are being really flexible and happy about him seeing the baby he would probably think or do something about it.

Good luck.
Doesn't really matter what the eye is seeing
cos i'm in love with the inner being
saz
Taken Root
Taken Root
 
Posts: 2109
Joined: Sun Aug 10, 2003 7:23 pm
Location: Essex

Postby littlemonkey » Tue Dec 09, 2003 9:00 pm

He can be so stupid he should know that already!!
Should i tell his mum (not sure if she wants to or is ready to see him yet) or him?

I get so nervous when i have to contact him
littlemonkey
Familiar Face
Familiar Face
 
Posts: 150
Joined: Thu Nov 20, 2003 2:27 pm
Location: London

Next

Return to And the rest...

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

cron