So many relationships...

Maybe you have fallen out with your mate, or perhaps you are about to betray them - whatever it is, talk about it here.
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So many relationships...

Postby Lorelei » Tue Aug 19, 2003 1:05 am

So many people with whom I have close relationships seem to be depressed or in a rut. Some of them are in unhappy romantic relationships, some of them don't know where their lives are going, etc.

But worst of all, a close female friend tried to kill herself last night, by throwing herself into the river. She was rescued and is being cared for by her family at present. She is also on tranquilisers. She had a terrible childhood, suffered from depression, etc. but now she has a successful career, she's gorgeous and well- liked, she doesn't even know why she wants to die herself. I fear that it's more than depression; that she may be seriously disturbed as a result of her childhood or something. But how can I help her? She's obviously too far gone to 'snap out of it' or accept advice. I'm so worried about her but I don't know what to do.

Meanwhile, I have a male friend who I often end up kissing at the end of a night out. We've agreed not to start a relationship for various reasons but he keeps having horrible problems. Although he's not into drugs or crime or anything, he's from a very dodgy area and constantly seems to run into dangerous criminals socially, who have disturbing connections with his friends or family. It freaks him out and I worry about him but I don't want him to be 'relying on me' to cheer him up. I'm not his girlfriend. And yet I feel as if he is relying on me because I'm outside all that. I do want to help but I don't want to see him any more because he just takes me to the pub to get drunk and I really need to look after my health better and focus on my work.

And I know I shouldn't take everyone else's problems on myself, but my friends are my life in many ways. And none of them are happy. And so neither am I. Any ideas on how we could all go about cheering up?xxx
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Postby sovs » Tue Aug 19, 2003 1:18 am


Your friend that tried commiting suicide is going to be extremally depressed and need her friends. Be there for her and let her know your there if she wants to talk. She will have things going on in her head nobody else knows about and must be feeling very alone. Just support her as much as you can, even if its just sitting quietly with her. She will need you more than you know.

As for your other friend, he must feel very close to you and must trust you deeply to come to you with his problems. Next time he confides in you, dont go to the pub, why not relax at the cinema with him, or take a stroll. Dont make him feel bad that he keeps coming to you, he obviously respects you a lot and you will hurt his feelings.

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