No sisters, no brotheres, just lots of mystery halves!

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No sisters, no brotheres, just lots of mystery halves!

Postby Jo troupette » Sat Jul 01, 2006 9:27 pm

Hey,

There's no reeal problem now, I just was interested in any one else's experience on this situation...if possible.

Last summer, I was visiting relatives because I have loads around the country so I do the rounds every summer, which I love so much, might I add, and it's my dad's half of the family. Talking of my dad, things have been realy rough lately but that's a different story, but he told me last summer that I had 3 other half sisters, all with different mums.

I knew of one of them, and that is my half sister Charlotte. She is so gergeous and she's 3 years. I knew about her, because he married again to Cathy. She was my step mum, and then he had Charlotte, but the other two I didnt have a clue about.

He said I have a 15/16 yr old, and an 8 yr old. The 15/16 yr old I have apparently met before, but I was too young to remeber. She'd remeber me though. The 8 yr old I have never met and I dont even know if she knows I exist, after all, I didnt!

When Charlotte was born, I was over the moon because I'm an only child, or so I thought, living in a house with my mum only, and my first sibling was being born! Then I find out I have an older one too one in the middle, its a bit of a "wow, take a step back" kinda thing.

Basically, I need advice on the following~
~ Do I try and find them and meet up with them? - Dad doesnt know where they live, and he claims its the mums fault again, not letting him see them. I dont talk to him anymore so even if he did it wouldn't help. Would this cause too much annoyance with my dad or mum?
~Am I meant to be annoyed with my dad for not telling me?
~Is it wrong that they're all with diferent women?
~What does this make my dad?
We have two ears, one for hearing and one for actually listening. Remember, chin up and just keep smiling! :-)
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Postby Angel_Fairy » Wed Jul 05, 2006 1:55 pm

Heya, my friend had a similar prob, but with only one 1/2 brother.
Her mum knew where he was- which made it easier for her to find him. When he found that his mum and her mum were the same, he milked them of nearly every penny he could, beacuse he was jealous that he was 'abandoned' and she was kept.
It is a very confusing situation to be in. I don't think it is a wise decision to find them and meet up unless you're 100% sure it will not backfire- the mums might try to get compensation off of your father for their child. Also, the child might not know about any of this, which could cause friction in their family (they may believe the man that bought them up is their real father).
It may upset your mum, as you wantto find your siblings that is from your father's past, that she may not know about- or find confortable to confront in such a way.
It would upset me that my fdather hadn't told me. I trust my father alot, and if something like this happened out of no where- i dont think i could trust him again.
As for 'Is it right that they're with different women?' You don't know the full story from both sides so you don't know whether they were accidents, that the mother wanted to keep, and he didn't- or otherwise.
The only way you can find these answers is by asking your father- if you are sure he won't over-react or be cagey about.
I'm sorry i can't help you otherwise, but it is natural to want to find your siblings. The best thing you can do is talk to your father. If he doesn't mind you finding them, he could gve you more information about them- aiding this process.
Good Luck :-?
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Postby stellar » Tue Sep 26, 2006 1:02 pm

Hi there, I have 2 "half" siblings, both of whom are from my mum so I see them often. My brother I get on with reasonably well (tho have just posted about him, grr!) and my sister I don't get on with at all. It really annoys me when people refer to them as "step" siblings because to me, if they share my blood, then they are "real"! I suppose that doesn't help you much but it's my experience anyway!

Your problem is tricky, the others might be really happy to meet up but then again they might not. As I said, my brother is fine but my sister is a psycho, so I would approach this with caution.

You said you don't speak to your Dad any more. Can I ask why? He would be the best person to talk to about them, as he has (I assume?) met them before and would know a bit about them.

Maybe try and get their addresses and write to them, but you have to be so careful about upsetting them. My best advice to you is to speak to your Dad and see what he can give you, he's your best bet.

Good luck,
Stellar :)
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