I don't like him!

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I don't like him!

Postby Fawn » Mon Jul 17, 2006 4:20 pm

My sisters been with her boyfriend for just over a year. My family think he's perfect and can do no wrong. However, i know different. No too long ago he got really drunk and hit her. She had bruises on her arms where he grabbed her and the next day she was so shaken up by it she was actually shaking. She didnt tell anyone alse and begged me not to tell our parents. I didnt tell cus i knew she'd hate me for it if i did. He hasn't done it again since but i hate the fact that my family seem to think more of him than my fiance who ive been with for 5 years and he's never so much as raised his voice to me. Its really hard not to get angry when my parents are praising him. Also, he's always buying her presents and she's showing them off to my family. My fiance cant really afford to buy me stuff and i get upset that this makes her bf look better than mine! He also took her on holiday which my family were really impressed by and were talking about for ages and i got really upset cus we've never had enough money to go away. I feel so upset that i cant seem to be around my sister and my parents at the same time because they always talk about him and i hate it! What can i do?
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Postby Squeak » Wed Jul 19, 2006 3:25 pm

Hey Fawn,

No advice really, just some sympathy! I can understand how you feel. My sister and her new husband are the dog's b@~*"^cks where my mum's side of the family are concerned. All I ever hear about is how wonderful a couple they are, what a fabulous house they have, etc etc. Even their cats are the most excellent in the whole world! It's got to the stage where mum and step dad are best friends with bro in law's parents, and the whole lot of them bother off to the pub on a regular basis. Me and husband are never invited.

All I can say is try to carry on being as happy as you are. You know yourself how good you and bf are together, and what a s~#t your sister's fella is. I can understand how your boyfriend must feel, but sometimes people can't see what's under their noses - it's their problem, not yours!
Squeak x

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Postby gatekeeper » Thu Jul 20, 2006 10:46 am

I'm not in your situation but I know how it feels when other people praise your sibling and you seem to pale in comparison. Like squeak said, you know how good your fiance is and how terrible your sister's bf is. Compliment your fiance more often and make him feel good about himself, tell him that if you could choose again, it'll still be him. Let him know that no relationship is perfect and the only flaw in yours is that you and him don't have enough money. In relationships where the couple have more than enough to get by, they might not be happy.

As long as you're happy in the relationship and it's perfect for you, you don't need to bother if others know that you're contented with your lot.
Late at night when all the world is sleeping
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So I wait for the day and the courage to say how much I love you
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Postby JennaXXX » Thu Jul 20, 2006 2:46 pm

Personally I think you should tell your parents whats going on. Your sister is in danger and you would never forgive yourself if something really bad happened.
You should think yourself lucky. Your partner may not be able to afford to take you out on holidays and buy you expensive gifts but that isnt what makes a relationship work. It sounds like you have a great relationship with him and you should be so thankful for that.
Your sister may get gifts and holidays but thats not what is going to make the relationship last. It sounds to me as though she is with a manipulative bully and the sooner she gets away from him the better. Unfortunately you cant make her leave him. All you can do is let her know that you are there to support her no matter what. Keep us updated. xxx
Whatever life throws at you, smile, hold your head up high and be the best you can possibly be.
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Postby morris mouse » Tue Jul 25, 2006 8:50 pm

JennaXXX wrote: It sounds to me as though she is with a manipulative bully and the sooner she gets away from him the better. Unfortunately you cant make her leave him. All you can do is let her know that you are there to support her no matter what.


"Fawn"

This is a difficult one for you !!
Do you continue to be content with your fiance,or do you speak up
about the dreadful way your sister is being treated ??

I agree with "jennaXXX"
Your sister is with a bully and,it would be much better for
her if she leaves him.
It would be much better for you,too,so that you don't need to worry
in which way your sister is being treated by this bully.

Hope that,in the end,everything works out well for yourself,and your
sister and,I'm sure,you'll be there to support her,no matter what.
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