in the shadow of my friends

Maybe you have fallen out with your mate, or perhaps you are about to betray them - whatever it is, talk about it here.
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in the shadow of my friends

Postby bean_pole » Mon Sep 01, 2003 2:07 pm

this may sound really stupid but i just feel second best to everyone all the time if i like a guy then they always like the friend that i am with...like now for instance ive liked this guy who is a few years older hes recently decided that he likes one of my best mates and now i seem to be the one in the middle given advice to him about her..he always tells me how he feels about this girl and its frustrates me bcos i like him but he just sees me as one of the lads or a mate! its the same with other guys we start off as friends and they always end up with my mates and i always play the one in the middle that puts up with them talking bout their feelings for my friends! this post may sound really bitchy but the whole situation is really getting me done...i get so depressed i know its not my friends fault she didnt ask to be liked by this bloke but i still feel like i cant talk to her bout it cos she wont understand i jus dont know what to do nemore and its really getting me down and im taking it out on my mates pls help me!
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Postby lilo » Mon Sep 01, 2003 3:11 pm

I can totally sympathise with you coz thats exactly the way it was for me when i was in skool!

there was this one guy in particular that i really liked and i ended up being his shoulder to cry on coz he liked my pal. she knew how much i liked him and went out with him anyway even tho she wasn't that keen on him.

we fell out big time and things were never the same btwn us. the guy and her ended up finishing coz they had nothing in common and when i look back i can't believe i liked him that much anyway!

if she knows how you feel then a true mate wont step on ur toes (if u only like him and aren't with anyone else)

u cant make some1 like u but u don't have to listen to them ranting about how great ur pal is either! That will be making u mad and really jealous too. Just try to get on with your own life and u'll find a guy who likes you not your pal soon enough!
Life's like a box of chocolates - you never know what you're gonna get!!!!!
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Postby bean_pole » Wed Sep 03, 2003 2:14 pm

thanx for the advice....my friend doesnt even know that i like him that much...and to b honest im not sure what i feel for him either! anyway they went out on a date last nite but i t didnt work out...he even gave her a rose even though he knew they were jus going out as mates she was really embarassed cos she thoguht that shed made her feelings clear...being that she werent interested! i think im jus at the stage where like all ur mates have sum1 and if the dont then people fancy them and im just the odd one out bcos i have neither of these things...it doesnt help having so much time on my hands...ive had 4 months off college for the summer hols! ahh i dunno wat to do :( :-? :oops:
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Postby Lorelei » Sat Sep 06, 2003 10:08 pm

Do you think that you might be too accessible to the guys you like? I don't mean that like it sounds. You're obviously not throwing yourself at this guy or anything or he wouldn't be so unaware of how you feel!

No, what I mean is: Are you being too open, too easy to talk to, too much of a buddy? Maybe your friend keeps more of an emotional distance from guys and they see her as more of a mystery?

I'm not saying you shouldn't be friends with guys, most of my best friends are male... but not the ones I fancy. If you open up to men too much initially, or let them open up to you, you're not playing the game. A little 'hard to get' goes a long way. I know it's annoying and we all wish we didn't have to play so many games in life, but very often, that's what men respond to.

They always seem to want to 'conquer the unknown' and if you're too much of a mate, there isn't enough to find out about you to make you romantically fascinating.

But, on the bright side, once you find the right guy (which I have no doubt you will) you'll have the BEST relationship because you'll understand guys so well through your close friendships with them and you'll be able to be best friends as well as a couple, when things get more serious!

Best of luck with it all!xxx
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