double sister problems please help

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double sister problems please help

Postby messedup » Mon Mar 12, 2007 8:24 pm

I am having some problems with my two younger sisters my mother and father recently moved abroad and I have been left with my two younger sisters 21 and 17. However I feell constantly pushed out and unwanted, my sister who is 21 has always caused trouble and is consisently nasty to me she recently told me she never wanted to speak to me again and i was pathetic as i shouted at her for making noise at 3am. my two sisters ignore me in the house and stop speaking when I'm in the room, its terrible atmosphere in the home and i don't know what to do, i have been through so much recently with my mum and dad leaving etc that i am at the end of my tether. The atmosphere at home is horrible and making me so happy I am at a loss to understand why I am being treated this way. I recently got engaged to my boyfriend of 5 years I wonder if this recent outburst coincedes with this. I have always been the kid that did what they were told I went to uni got exams etc and my 21 year old sis has always been the rebel and caused my mum and dad a lot of heartache by running away in the past and drinking heavily. I have tried my best and thought she had changed but recently she has got so horrible i am not sure how to cope with it. it is really beginning to depress me. My youngest sister is easily lead and goes along with whatever she says i am so sick ofbeing the bad guy anbd my mum and dad just say oh well you know what shes like. I feel i have no one to turn to please please give me some advice i always feel like crying when i come home at night. no one understands what im going through i jst keep getting told to get on with it. i cant move out of the house as cannot afford to at the moment, please help
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Re: double sister problems please help

Postby retrochav » Fri Mar 16, 2007 11:56 am

Are you trying to be the mum and dad to this childish pair? It seems to me that you have played the role of the sensible older sister all your life, and now feel abandoned by your parents and scorned by your sisters.

It may help to write to your sisters and say that you have been under a lot of stress. Explain that you need their love and support, and want to give them love and support too. It may get things working out again, especially if you state that you dont wish to have problems like this in your life.

I wonder if your parrents assumed you would be taking responsibility for the three of you. My advice is dont! You can easily convert your bedroom into a bedsitter by having a lock put on the door. Have your own cupboard for food and crockery and be responsible for yourself only. It may mean gritting your teeth and biting your toungue when they are inconsiderate, but remind yourself that you wont be here forever. If your earnings are low, housing benefit may top up the rent you would have to pay if you moved out. I would take that as a last resort however.
whatever your problem someone else has been there and bears the scars.
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Postby Teenspirit » Thu May 24, 2007 10:25 am

I think your Mum & Dad have a cheek leavimg you with this....

I too know what its like im the oldest of 3 kids. Im 25yrs my bro is 23yrs my sis 10yrs.....

I have always had to look out for them even my mum thanks to her verrrry bad taste in men...To cut a looooooooong story short me & my Mum had some probs I was like the black sheep although I know now taht my family love me very much I was always treated differently....

My bro & sis get away with murder....I partly think it cause they were strictor on the oldest then they loosen up by the 2nd & 3rd....

Anyway my Mum now is in a nursing home she is terminally ill and our Dad passed away yrs ago so I have been my sis mum & Dad & its so hard..

I am ment 2b the fun big sis, u can tell anything 2, laugh, get waay with stuff but i feel like all I do is nag but only cause some1 has 2 look out 4her..She is spoilt due 2 the things she's been through but Im keeping her real & being normal cause thats what she needs bounderies, stability, security...........

I would never turn my back on my little sis...............
But as she gets older if she continues down a bad path i will kick her butt..

its different cause your 21yr old is old enough 2look after herself.....
So let her u cant tell her what 2do she wont listen just be there 4her...

Talk 2 ur little sis let her know that you'll alaway be there but you aint taking no more poo mate........You deserve better............

Your parents should have taken your little sis if anything happens to her its them that should feel the guilt not you.........

It is soooo hard being a parent 2 your siblings you very rarely get thanked for it.........& it's like your losing out on being the best big sis.....

Talk to them let them now things need to change.........
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