Hurt my feelings

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Hurt my feelings

Postby Anjelica » Wed Dec 26, 2007 7:58 pm

OK so heres the background info- Im quite a shy and reclusive person when im not at work and have been this way a while (partly due to my fluxuating weight problems since i was 17) I have an older sibling whos got a whole other life and his life is great. For years we hardly speak and when i did attempt to intergrate myself with his other family id be sat in the corner while getting ignored/ being made to feel inadequate by his wife or my siblings trying to force alcohol down my throat coz hes a raging drinker and im tee total. [-X Anyway the past years been exceptional bad for me and my mother got to the point where she told him i didnt want to come down to his house several times coz i felt bad about my weight. so i thought he understood. Anyways because of the way are relationship was we slowly stopped giving each other birthday cards but i always gave his children cards and money coz there my nephews and i love them. Same with xmas my sibling would always give rubbish presents to us (real pound store items) but id go all out and give everyone decent gifts. even my brother. This year they came and purposely left me out- no one dare bring it up coz hes such an idiot and i was left feeling really jelly coz id gone to so much effort with him and his family despite how he is. It was so blatantly horrible. (ps this hurts much more coz my other sister was remembered even her child :( ) Please can you give me ur advice. Im just fed up of being treated this way.

Edit by Pwif: No swearing please, even if provoked at this festive season. :P
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Postby Kayx » Thu Jan 03, 2008 7:36 pm

Firstly,can I just say,I think me and and u are quite similar!! I am someone who doesn't go out much yet my sister is the social bee of the family! :P And choosing not to drink is certainly nothing to feel embarrassed about, I have seen people including myself in situations where they certainly should have steered clear from drink. In my opinion,keep doing what u r doing,getting gifts and being there for your other relatives.You sound to me like a lovely person and shouldn't be treated this way at all. I don't really know what else to say other than if you need to talk EVER please pm me and I will help you. x x You sound to me like a lovely person and I wouldn't want you to think it's your fault you're being treated like this

Love Kay x
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Postby Bel Bel » Fri Jan 04, 2008 10:22 am

As kayx says you sound like your really nice and don't stop bing like that becasue your brother may not appreciate you but there will be others that do.
Next year only buy presents for the kids and if he says anything you can say you thought tht was the new trend he had started from the previous year.
Did your sister buy you a present?
How does your sister treat you?
Do you wnat to get your weight sorted because rosemary connelly classes are really good, they have there own exercise classes for all levels and I promise you they will be plenty of people there that will suffer the same as you do with the weight issue. Sometimes it makes us feel better when e know we are not alone with a problem.
Once you tackle the weight issue you will probably feel less of a target and with more confidence will probably be able to cope more with your brother
Life is for living so live it to the fullest

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Postby pink princess76 » Mon Jan 07, 2008 1:25 pm

When I read this post I just had to reply.
I also struggle with my weight and always will. Although I have lost almost 6 stome I am still 3 stone overweight. For years I went no where, done nothing and outside of work had no life - always thinking 'when I am thinner I will then do stuff' By doing this I missed out on my teenage years until the age of 22 ish. I know it's hard but you need to get out there have a good life regardless of your size.
Onto the family issue - your brother is not being very nice. Just beacuse you don't drink does not mean you should be left out. I do drink but only approx 2x a year, not because I am miserable but I just hate the feeling the next day.My family seem to think this wierd as they drink like fish and I also feel excluded. This christmas I also had an issue with my sister and presents. When asked what her husband wanted for christmas she replied to get him just a little something. On christmas day we recieved from them two huge sackfuls of presents. It was obvious that this was done to make my partner and I look bad in front of my parents. As it was we had bought my bro in law something really nice so it kinda backfired. What I did learn from this however was that it doesn't matter what you spend it really is the thought that counts. It really is a cliche but true. I agree with the previous reply. Continue to buy for your nephews - none of this is thier fault, but personally I would no longer buy for your brother.
I don't really have any words of wisdom but just to let you know you are not on your own on this one.
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Postby HappyGoLucky » Thu Jan 10, 2008 8:37 am

Hi Anjelica.

Continue buying gifts for your nephews and exclude your brother out the next Christmas. It's not embarrassing not to want to drink - lots of people don't drink too! [-X You could join a fitness club to get your weight sorted - it'll make you feel better about yourself and you'll gain more confidence. Many MANY people feel bad about their weight so you're not alone!
Life is like a box of chocolates... you never know what you're gonna get!
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Postby teardrop » Thu Jan 10, 2008 9:25 am

i know exactly how you feel.ive distanced myself from my family because they treat me as if im not good enough to be in their company,. they never sent my only grandchild anything either for xmas. so dont put yourself out ,dont buy them anything anymore. say in future you are only buying for the children. that way you will feel satisfaction and not be hurt again. i dont know why people have to be so nasty but they are.keep your chin up hun x
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