brother i've never met

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brother i've never met

Postby dollydiamond » Mon Nov 03, 2008 11:49 am

i have four brothers and one of which i have never met,, and in the past i have always wanted to meet him and get to know him, but he's coming down on the 14th November, and now i'm having reservations, like i'm having trouble letting him in, my defenses have gone up and i dont know how to let him in, like my little brother hes 14 is more accepting of the situation and has let him in and because i cant do the same he thinks im selfish and its causing a rift between us,
now my brother ( the one ive never met) doesnt get on with my dad, because we have different mums he feels that his dad left him to purposely start a new family that he is not part of. now this is making me feel that im letting my dad down by meeting him.
there was another brother that my dad left behind, and thats my eldest brother who is now 28. and he's told me he will try his best to come down with grant, so i'm not alone, which means a lot, but i'm disabled and yeah grant knows that, but i dont know what he's expecting, and whether he's gonna be accepting of it, or whats gonna happen.
anyone have any ideas as to what i can do? ://
x
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Postby Bel Bel » Mon Nov 03, 2008 12:18 pm

YOU ARE ENTITLED TO KNOW YOUR BROTHER AND HAVE A REALTIONSHIP WITH YOUR DAD
YOUR NOT LETTING YOUR DAD DOWN, HE MADE ALL THESE CHILDREN AND SHOULDN'T EXPECT YOU TO HAVE LOYALTIES TO HIM THAT GO AGAINST THE SIBLING RELATIONSHIPS
sorry on caps
Although there is nothing wrong with taking it slowly and you can tell your 14 year old brother thats what you want to do. Don't fall out over it as then you have lost two brothers not just the one you have never met.
Has your dad been funny with the 14 year old since he has had a relationship with your brother?
As for your being disabled that shouldn't make any difference you are still their sister and the brother who is coming down (grant?) obviously wants to met you.
Let grant and your dad sort thereown differences out between them, tell them both you don't want to get involved in there problems you just wnat your own realtionships with both your dad and your brothers
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Postby dollydiamond » Mon Nov 03, 2008 2:21 pm

my dad doesnt have a problem with me seeing grant,, infact he's all for it.
but grant keeps making snide little comments about my dad, that're really nasty, and everytime i tell him to stop he doesn't listen,
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Postby Bel Bel » Mon Nov 03, 2008 2:54 pm

can you ask your 14 year old brother to have a word with him as they get on so well
if he continues to do it and it upsets you then you will have to explai to the 14 year old that this is why you can't get on with grant
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Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Mon Nov 03, 2008 4:05 pm

How about you just try to ignore him when he says bad things about your dad? You know if he says something and he gets a response that is good, even if it was a bad response. Ignore him when he says bad things, then he might get the hint and stop it since it doesn't bother anyone. As for your disability, does it matter? I mean it doesn't make you any different, it will only be an issue if you let it be an issue...and it definately shouldn't be an issue.
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Postby dollydiamond » Mon Nov 03, 2008 4:50 pm

thanks guys
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