My friend hes making a big mistake

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My friend hes making a big mistake

Postby dandedoodles » Fri Dec 26, 2008 1:57 pm

One of my best friends, has joined a dating website, hes meet this girl throught it they been going out for about 2 weeks she was the one who clicked on him, and they exchanged numbers, by that evening she had asked him out and he said yes, she lives in ireland, and we live in london, so they havent meet, just spoke on the computer,and over the phones with photos of each other,
the thing is she seems really up for him, and he does her but he does jump to fast into relationships and always endes up getting hurt, im not sure what to make of her she seems really dirty and he loves it,but where they meet on a dating website there could be many more men, but he wont listen to that, he doesnt no what shes up to and her the same as him The first time there going to meet is in march when she comes down,

The other thing about him is, hes still in contact with his ex they speak on the phone everyday, bought eachother xmas presents and still sleep with each other, when they do see eachother there is still a conection between them like flirting messing with each other, its funny sometimes to see it, he does care for her but we all think its more then that especially when hes now got this irish girl, and that since hes been going with this, hes sleept with his ex twice
but he says that they are just friends

Is he dating this girl to make him realise that he does still like this ex
Thats what im thinking recently, i just dont want him to get hurt cuz like i say he does jump into relationships, but im not sure if a long distance relationship will work
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Re: My friend hes making a big mistake

Postby miaow » Sat Dec 27, 2008 12:29 pm

I doubt he will listen to you so I would just let him get on with it. If probably likes the attention he is getting from the girl in Ireland, to me until they've met it is not a proper relationship.

As for the ex - it is up to them what they do. As long as they aren't in another relationship they aren't hurting anyone (As above I dont consider him in a relationship).

Leave them to it, and if he needs you be a friend and be there.

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Re: My friend hes making a big mistake

Postby Bel Bel » Mon Dec 29, 2008 1:03 pm

alot could happen between now and March
I agree with miaow let him get on with it he will learn from his mistakes
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Re: My friend hes making a big mistake

Postby caroline82 » Mon Dec 29, 2008 2:21 pm

Might be that he feels the need to find someone to put a bit of distance between himself and his ex, not being sure how to draw a line under the situation. I find that a rebound fling is often the cure where a relationship has ended in theory but not entirely in practice.

Could also be that he has feelings for the ex and wants to test her by bringing someone else into the equation...see if she has a jealous reaction etc.

Most likely, as i have seen with a lot of guys i know, he's not really thinking too deeply about it and is just doing whatever he happens to feel like at any particular time.

The bottom line as others have said is that you need to stay out of it unless asked for your opinion and if it all blows up in his face, be a shoulder to cry on. I tend to find with friends that you can often see an impending disaster in their lives, they will usually on some level be aware of it and they will ask for your advice if they want it. Unsolicited advice, particularly on issues they are aware of and are ignoring can often result in friends falling out. Best you can do is be there for him if it does all go belly up.
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