Friend/Housemate hell

Maybe you have fallen out with your mate, or perhaps you are about to betray them - whatever it is, talk about it here.
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Re: Friend/Housemate hell

Postby spacegirl » Sat Jan 17, 2009 12:32 pm

how did the move go?
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Re: Friend/Housemate hell

Postby caroline82 » Sat Jan 17, 2009 1:15 pm

She's gone!!!

I came home from work on wednesday to find that she'd packed up and left, but hadnt left her key. I rang her to see whether or not she was gone but no answer or call back. Was a bit annoyed that she didnt even say goodbye or thanks, but in fairness i dont know why i thought she might! Anyway, yesterday afternoon i got an irate phonecall from her, she had tried to go back to the house and i'd changed the alarm code so it had gone off. I asked her why she was there, she gave her reasons, and i asked her to leave her key when she left, and that i wanted to talk to her about the money she owes me. I was going to forget about it, but as its going to cost me so much to fix my damaged couch i decided to push it. Still may not get a penny but i think i should try.

Anyway, later that afternoon i started getting text messages from her telling me it was horrible of me to a) lock my bedroom door when i wasnt home b) change my alarm code and c) ask for my key back. What planet is this woman on!!! She said that clearly i am a mistrustful person and she is offended that i clearly thought she was going to steal from me. I'm sure i'll have to listen to more of this garbage before its all over.

The part that scares me is that this has had and is still having a strong effect on me. Aside from dealing with this rubbish I have a stressful job, serious exams to take in a few months which will dictate whether or not i keep my job, my gran who raised me is dying of cancer at the moment and i'm trying to be there as much as i can and my best friend is emigrating on monday. I also gave up smoking for the new year, and really struggle with it some days. I have suffered from depression but have been off medication for the last 3 months, and had such a hard time coming off it that i really dont want to do it again. But now i'm back to crying every day, usually for no reason or because something very small goes wrong. I'm feeling sick at the thought of my next interaction with my former housemate, i just cant take anymore of her bad attitude.
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Re: Friend/Housemate hell

Postby sarahmienwok » Sat Jan 17, 2009 2:02 pm

Hang on. She is mad at you because you locked your bedroom door?? Why was she trying to go into your bedroom anyway? What a cheeky so and so. Get the locks changed. Even if she gave you the key back, she may have had it copied first. I don't know her, but from what you've said I wouldnt put it past her! It might cost a bit but if you're getting ill at the thought of your next encounter with her it'll be worth it. I love that you changed the alarm code though, and it went off on her. Brilliant!

Try not to let her get you down. I know it's hard, but she really isnt worth you getting ill or losing your job. She's gone now, you've won. She may keep on at you to try and make you feel bad, but that's because she knows she's lost and she's a spiteful little.....

Is there a way to contact your mobile's network provider and try and get a block on her number so she can't ring/text you? I don't know if that's possible or not?
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Re: Friend/Housemate hell

Postby caroline82 » Sat Jan 17, 2009 3:26 pm

I really wish i could prevent her from contacting me but i know i'll never be able to avoid her. For one thing, its a small town and i'm sure to run into her frequently. For another, as long as i'm with my bf Alan, and she's with Tom, she'll be around. They've been together 5 years and it doesnt seem to be ending anytime soon. For instance, its their dads 60th in a few weeks time and we'll both be at the party.

I now know that his entire family dislike her and want her out of Tom's life but neither Tom nor her have any idea that they feel that way. They've all had bad experiences with her, some of the stuff i've been told is unbelievable. I knew my bf didnt like her but he only told me about the rest of his families feelings yesterday, when i told him i was afraid she was going to give them a bad opinion of me. Thats one less worry anyway.

The other issue is that i know she's been unfaithful to Tom, mostly just kissing but she did bring a random guy home one night and slept with him. Loudly in the room next to mine. Her behaviour on nights out when Tom's not there is disgusting and trampy and i'm sure if he knew about it he'd be out of there. For example, on a mutual friends hen night, she got her boobs out in the hotel bar and started inviting random guys to feel and lick them. She didnt come back to the hotel room we were sharing that night, instead spent the night in another room with two guys that she'd met. She gets very drunk and often takes pills on nights out and is uncontrollable.

Alan has asked me directly if she's cheated on his brother and I covered for her which i'm still uncomfortable about, its very early in this relationship for there already to be lies. Its his brother at the end of the day and if i told him the truth he'd have to act on it. Under normal circumstances i'd mind my own business but as its my bf thats asking about it i hate having to lie. Especially to cover for someone who's been so nasty to me.
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Re: Friend/Housemate hell

Postby snail » Sat Jan 17, 2009 3:32 pm

I agree, I don't think you should cover for her, just say you'd rather not answer or something. He will get what you mean!

I'm really pleased for you, Caroline - remember the worst is over now.
These mountains that you are carrying, you were only supposed to climb.

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Re: Friend/Housemate hell

Postby sarahmienwok » Sat Jan 17, 2009 3:41 pm

What an absolute witch, I dont know how you put up with her for so long! I'm glad your boyfriend's family know the score. You definately shouldn't cover up for her anymore, she doesn't deserve it at all!

Although on the other hand, if you told your boyfriend so the truth came out, she splits with her fella and then finds out it was because you stopped covering for her, she'd probably be out to get you again. She shouldn't, it would be her fault, but something tells me she wouldnt see it that way.... something to think about, although I dont think she should carry on getting away with it.
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Re: Friend/Housemate hell

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Mon Jan 19, 2009 12:13 pm

Good for you with changing the alarm code; and change your locks!
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Re: Friend/Housemate hell

Postby spacegirl » Mon Jan 19, 2009 7:07 pm

wow. she sounds like an absolte nightmare, i'm so glad she's out of your house.

for now, you'll just have to continue being civil to her, in the circumstances i can't see any way around that. just make it clear there's no friendship there and she'll eventually leave you alone.

as for covering for her, i wouldn't bother. your relationship with your boyfriend is much more important. she's made her bed.
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Re: Friend/Housemate hell

Postby Bel Bel » Tue Jan 20, 2009 12:36 pm

yes i agree just be civil you can onyl be in control of your behaviour not hers
if she brings up your room bein locked again ask her why she was trying to get in there anyway
definately change your locks and don't read any text she sends you just delete them, she will soon get bored of doing it if she doesn't get a reaction (although just becasue you have to see her doesn't actually stop you from blocking her number) if she ask why you can tell her you were fed up with her nasty texts
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