Feeling bitter

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Feeling bitter

Postby Tarantula » Sun Mar 08, 2009 6:23 pm

Hi everyone

I'm 18 and on IB, which means that at my college, I'm with the same group of 20 people in every lesson of every day - unlike with A levels. Of these, the ratio of girls to boys is 15:5. I suppose, to begin with, it doesn't help that I went out with one of the guys previously, broke up, and he quickly got with another girl in our class - but I'm over the relationship now and have actually started seeing one of the other guys myself.

I find the vast majority of the girls in my class one or more of the following - immature, biatchy, superficial, two faced, shallow, pompous and/or boring. I'm regularly trying to strike up conversation and be social, and generally it doesn't go beyond one word answers and small talk. I'm also a year older than the others because I dropped out of my last college and started again.

I've been slated for being antisocial, despite the fact that I go to every IB event outside of college that I can. Apparently my classmates 'don't know how to approach me', and my stereotype seems to be that of an alcoholic, just because when people do ask how my weekend was, I tend to reply with something like 'it was great thanks, I went out to [insert club name here] and spent Sunday recovering, haha' - which they can't relate to yet. Yesterday I went out for a birthday meal of one of my classmates, and at the restaraunt the girl asked me if I feel 'special' because I was the only one who ordered a beer instead of a coke. I found that ridiculous.

There are a couple of people I feel more at home with in the class, and in particular, there's the class scapegoat whom I am constantly sticking up for when he gets picked on. He's the stereotype of really-nice-guy-who-talks-a-bit-too-much-and-has-a-lisp-and-is-constantly-put-down-and-gets-really-insecure-about-it. He's got the raw deal because he's always trying to get people to like him and just wants to be acknowledged - and I feel really bad for him so if someone says something unfair in class, I feel compelled to fight his corner rather than just go 'it's not my problem'. I'm sure that I'm being slated for that too.

Other than that, it's just a case of perpetually feeling like I'm in a room full of people who are all laughing and bonding over a joke that I just don't get. So much Facebook bum-sniffery goes on as well - I normally don't bother to log on every evening and coo about how 'gawjus' the girlies look in all their photos, so I guess I'm 'unapproachable'.

I've talked to my brother about this, and the first thing he said was that they're jealous of me, which I find a bit unbelievable - the IB girls are generally much prettier, more extrovert and universally-loved than me. But he says that they can't understand why I don't feel the need to gossip or talk about the others behind their backs and yet I'm STILL the only girl in the class to be asked out twice by the guys, and am content to be found in the library of my breaktimes reading, as opposed to with the others, engaging in shallow banter about who's dressing right, and laughing over jokes that just ain't funny. He also says that my being 18 means that I can go out and drink, and they don't like that I'm just a normalish girl for whom the novelty of being old enough to do that just hasn't worn off yet. :D

In any case, I'm wondering how I should play it. Should I continue to try to relate to these folks, even though they never try to relate to me? I sometimes think that they can't all be bumholes, and I be the standalone 'right' one, there must be something wrong with how I approach them - but I can't think what.
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Re: Feeling bitter

Postby miaow » Sun Mar 08, 2009 11:16 pm

Well, few ppl have viewed but not replied so will post my thoughts...

I'm not sure what IB is (only from what you've said your with same people every day), so bear with me if I've misunderstood. I think you should just be civil in order to get through this without any more hassle than necessary. Of course not everyone gets on, in the workplace you can have people you don't like, I do, and I know my friends do in their work. But, you just have to be nice (not over friendly but not rude either) and you just get on with it.

How long are you on this course ie how long you gonna be with them - 2 yrs? You say you go on social events with them outside of college so I'm presuming they invite you? I guess what Im trying to say is you don't have to be best pals with them, they can just be acquaintances, your not going to be with them forever. Do you have friends outside of college or who arent in the IB thing ?
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Re: Feeling bitter

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Mon Mar 09, 2009 10:19 am

I'd carry on as you are. You are making the effort with them. Don't go in and ignore them; you'll probably end up being more upset. To be honest if you are 18 the other girls will be what 16-17 - surely they have been out and drank alcohol?

One of my friends went back to school to do two A-levels after doing a degree - she was 21-22 and all the class were 16-18 and she got on fine with them. She did say they were all immature but she had to live with it.

If the girls want to be immature and laugh at you because you like to read or want to get good grades let them - you'll be the one laughing in 10 years time when you have a good job that pays loads of money and they all have 5 kids and are on the dole.
A hug is a great gift, one size fits all.
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Re: Feeling bitter

Postby Bel Bel » Mon Mar 09, 2009 12:53 pm

This is just classic of sad immature girls that need to grow up - reminds me of the film mean girls
Don't isolate yourself becasue of their behaviour and well done for sticking up for that guy he will be eternally grateful even if he doesn't say so
Never change who you are to please others, especially little bitchy gossip girls
Life is for living so live it to the fullest

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