Please, I need advice!

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Please, I need advice!

Postby Bexxi » Mon Oct 05, 2009 1:17 am

OK, well heres the thing... My boyfriends brother is going out with a complete psychopath! She lives directly over the road from my boyfriends house, and is completely obsessed with it! While her boyfriend is at work she sits in the window all day staring at the house, she even sometimes comes over just to see what we are doing in there. Shes a liar too, she lied to us about her friend being raped and killed by her ex boyfriend, she lied about being dragged into a van by 5 men, she lied to my boyfriends mum about me, saying that I was using him for his car and his money (we have been very happily together for nearly 3 years, I am NOT using him!) telling her I am a slag, that i will leave him when I get all I can out of him. That has made my boyfriends mum abit funny with me. Now she has started copying everything I do, wear, eat or whatever. Anything I have, she goes and gets it. I know that her copying me isn't a big deal but it's really winding me up. She is totally obsessed with Sie, my boyfriends brother, ringing him 24 hours a day, reading his texts, checking his phone, telling him what he can and cant do... he never has a minute without her being there and shouting and nagging at him. He has even told me he doesnt even love her, but that he wont leave her 'cos she's told him she'll kill herself (his dad committed suicide about 6 years ago, so it is a very harsh thing to threaten him with). And now the worst thing has happened... she has (apparantly) been kicked out of her house, and she has nowhere else to go (Its all a lie, her dad said she could live with him, and her mum didnt even kick her out) so she is now living with my boyfriend and his brother at their house. My boyfriend is fuming because we all know its made up, even her own boyfriend knows shes lying! She has only done it so she can keep a close eye on Sie and see what he is up to every minute of the day. My boyfriends mum knows what she is like, but still favours her over me and has told her to stay with them for as long as she wants, but when I had family problems she wouldnt let me stay with them. I feel like she is turning his whole family against me, and its so frustrating because its her that is the liar! I have never done anything wrong to my boyfriends parents, but they seem to look down at me and listen to everything she says, even though they know shes a liar. Me and my boyfriend will hopefully have a place by next year but Im honestly at the end of my tether here. I cant cope another year having to sit in the same room as HER... I hate her, I can't stand the girl, and its making me and my boyfriend argue, as Im always getting annoyed about something she has done. I cant stand being near her all the time and its really starting to depress me. It seems like the only way I can get away from her now is to sacrifice my relationship, but I love my boyfriend so much. I cant bear to be without my boyfriend but I feel as though she is pushing us apart, and turning his family on me. What should I do? I really need advice before I flip!
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Re: Please, I need advice!

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Mon Oct 05, 2009 9:06 am

Can your boyfriend not have a word with his familiy and say that she is the liar; to be honest if he won't say anything to them then you saying it won't do much really. Are there alternative places you could see your boyfriend?
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Re: Please, I need advice!

Postby Bexxi » Mon Oct 05, 2009 9:34 am

Hey, well not really, as my boyfriend and his brother are very close and spend alot of time together, unfortunatly with her too. Also, we keep pet rats and I wouldn't be able to see them if I don't go to my boyfriends house. His family won't listen... His mum's boyfriend has a major problem with my boyfriend (long story... it's because my boyfriend is at uni studying to be a teacher, and doesn't have a job because it is a full time course. He doesn't earn any money so can't pay board and his mums boyfriend doesn't like it) and his mum favours his brother over him. Its one set of rules for my boyfriend and another set of rules for his brother (example: My boyfriend is not allowed to have any friends in the house, his brother is allowed anyone in, my boyfriends not allowed to smoke in the house, his brother is...) My boyfriend is 23 and only has this year left at uni before he quaifies, then we can get our own place, I just don't know what to do until that happens because I really can't stand this girl, she's a liar and a control freak, and I know that she makes stuff up about me to tell my boyfriends mum. Its upsetting because Im not a bad person. I have spent two years studying animal care and am currently working as a care assistant, Im a loving and caring person, and nothing like she is making me out to be! I think she can be abit jealous of me at times, as me and my boyfriend love each other very much and are very happy together, whereas her and her boyfriend are constantly arguing, and he calls her all sorts of names like fat cow and tells her to shove off all the time (can you blame him!?) Also... abut half a year ago it came out that her boyfriend had been sleeping with her sister, she found out about it and hasnt left him, just gone on an even worse power trip with him. He doesn't care about her at all, he has told me that he doesn't love her and that he is just with her because she earns about £800 a month (which is all spent on him to keep him sweet). I know I can't split them up, but its frustrating to see it. My boyfriends brother is one of my best friends and I hate to see him so angry all the time. When she is around he's an aful person, wont speak to me or have a laugh with us, but as soon as she isn't there he's back to his old self, laughing and talking to us... I feel like this girl is realy ruining my life. I havent spoken to her since I found out she was moving to my boyfriends off because it has really wound me up, but she keeps trying to talk to me. Sooner or later my head will go and Ill end up saying some nasty things to her, or maybe even get violent (I used to have bad anger management issues, its not as bad now but if she winds me up enough I'll flip and I wont be able to stop myself). What can I do? I know that if I end up saying something to her, my boyfriends mum will prbably ban me from gong to the house, but if I hold my tongue about it Im afraid Im going to do myself harm mentally... She is making my life and everyone elses a misery. I dont understand why my boyfriends mum loves her so much. What can i do?
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Re: Please, I need advice!

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Mon Oct 05, 2009 11:02 am

If your boyfriends mam and her boyfriend won't do anything about it, and her boyfriend wont then there isn't anything you can do; it is their house at the end of the day. I understand where you are coming from I just don't know what options you have, except maybe have your boyfriend over at yours?
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Re: Please, I need advice!

Postby Bel Bel » Mon Oct 05, 2009 11:24 am

By allowing her to wind you up you are letting her win and have power over you
Try to look upon her as the sad and obviously metnally ill person she probably is
Dipsy is right it is your b/f's mums house and you can't change that
Eventually her mum will see her for what she is if she hasn't already
Just remember you will be free of her in time just hang in there until that happensHave you tried to be nice to her to see if that helps. I know it's not what you want but she may calm down if she thinks you are on her side and not against her
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Re: Please, I need advice!

Postby snail » Mon Oct 05, 2009 12:34 pm

I'm locking this topic, as Bexxi has another thread running about the same problem. Please see Bexxi's post in Relationships - And The Rest here:
viewtopic.php?f=9&t=16168
to keep on replying.
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