Ex-friend causing me a headache!

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Re: Ex-friend causing me a headache!

Postby Bel Bel » Wed Oct 07, 2009 12:25 pm

Yes i agree with the others and alos she may be embarrassed as she knows she did wrong
I think blowing her off for lunch was stooping to her level and maybe made things a bit worse than they might have got but it's done now so just act as normal as you can and hopefully it will blow over
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Re: Ex-friend causing me a headache!

Postby stressball » Thu Oct 08, 2009 11:33 am

Hey All,

Just wanted to give an update, I've acted normal with the new friend for the past few days, it seems everything was fine, until today - she emailed saying why dont i text the "ex-friend" and i said i had nothing to say to her but was not aggressive in any way - she then said she wasn't coming to lunch today because she wasnt feeling "talkative", i asked if everything was OK and she emailed "im fine"

I just dont know what to do , this is all so childish!!!
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Re: Ex-friend causing me a headache!

Postby Bel Bel » Thu Oct 08, 2009 12:07 pm

You can tell her that she didn't get replies from the ex friend so you wouldn't text her because A) you have nothing to say and B) you will probably get ignored like she did. Reminding her this girl isn't worth it.
She admitted to you she was origianly pushed into talking to ths girl so why is she trying to do the same to you - ask her that!
Also I would point out if ex friend was that interested why hasb't she contacted you? After all she was the one who did wrong
If she continues to be like this then just don't make so much effort and leave your friend to do the running
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Re: Ex-friend causing me a headache!

Postby stressball » Thu Oct 08, 2009 1:56 pm

Sorry, I think I missed out a few details at the beginning, she got a reply from the ex-friend last night and they were having a "very long conversation" which prompted her to bug me about contacting her again. Now she is going out for a meal with her department tonight, and said she didnt want to go, so I said I didnt and now she is going because I'm not (bearing in mind she is in tears on a weekly basis saying how the rest of the dept bully her!!!), this is just all pathetic, I really have seen a worse side to her than I have before.

To make it worse, we still have some of her belongings from when she moved house 3 months ago (still in our garage) my partner is concerned what with the winter coming some of the boxes might get damp and to ask if she could have them back, I mentioned this to her this week and she hasn't got back to me yet, so I can't really cut off any ties (let alone working in the same building every day) just yet :( I'm really confused as to what to do next x
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Re: Ex-friend causing me a headache!

Postby Bel Bel » Thu Oct 08, 2009 3:24 pm

tell her you're worried about the boxes getting damp and then it's her problem if they do
If you need the space give her a reasonable amount of time to get them out, say three weeks or tell her you will have to dipose of them. Make sure you put that in writing (perhaps a nice e mail) so she can't try to take you to small claims at a later date

you don't want to be friends with ex so don't and as for the other girl let her get on with it and just be civil
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Re: Ex-friend causing me a headache!

Postby stressball » Thu Oct 08, 2009 4:42 pm

I said to her earlier this week about the boxes, she said she was going to get back to me, so I think I'll wait a few weeks like you said and mention it again, goodness knows what will happen if I threaten to throw away her stuff!!

I'm not going to be friends with the ex-friend, it's just this friend is telling me to stop being silly and be friends with her again, I've tried nice no, aggressive no, firm no, soft no!!!! She just doesnt understand my feelings, or rather she doesnt want to, she wants everyone to be friends again so she can have another single friend she can go out with x
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Re: Ex-friend causing me a headache!

Postby stressball » Fri Oct 09, 2009 7:09 pm

Hi another update im afraid!!!!! :(

Boy, loads have happened2day, the friend walked with me to work, all was fine (or so I thought) then she emailed me twice asking if i texted the ex-friend as it was her birthday today, i had texted and said it, and told her this, and she asked me why i hadnt carried on the conversation, as this was over email I did not reply because i didnt want an argument.

Then lunchtime came, and she told me 10 mins before we were due to go that she was having lunch with her other friends but to come over and sit with them. As I am supposed to be going with her and another friend (the ones who bumped into the ex-friend) for a mini-break next friday (this has been booked since July for the other friends birthday present) I said i wanted to ring the hotel and check everything was on order, I didnt want to disturb them, etc. She said "no, do that next week, come over" - her exact words! So I did, and she practically ignored me, i think the other girls felt bad because they were making conversation with me and all this girl could go on about was how she was going out for a mcdonalds lunch with them next week (deliberately excluding me) and how it was going to be sooooo much fun...... lol!! So I left and went back to my desk, she didnt even say goodbye. When I went to go home I said "have a nice weekend" and she mumbled "yeah".

Next thing I know, she texts me this evening and asks how much her share of the hotel bookings for next week would cost, I told her it would be £87 each as the hotel is £174. She replied "oh you didnt say it was that much, why did i think it was £70" at this point i was getting really frustrated so I replied "No idea, I can send you the email if you like, I dont mind" then she replied "no its ok" then a text shortly after "if my money dont improve next week im not comin" GRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!! so i say "no dont say that, ive just spoken with my partner how bout u give me half next week and the rest when we get paid" and she replies "i dont want to borrow money, i will try and sort it" so i say "well the offer still stands, i honestly dont mind, we dont want to let (other friend) down do we, with her leg warmers, hehe" which she didnt reply to!!! THEN i find out shes been talking about me behind my back, found out from another person who asked what was going on between us as he hadnt seen us sitting for lunch this week!!!!!! ARRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! :'(
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Re: Ex-friend causing me a headache!

Postby captainf » Fri Oct 09, 2009 11:38 pm

Just forget her. Shes being so incredibly stupid and its not worth the hassle.
Go on this break with the 2 girls, but then forget the weird one because shes so not worth the effort.
Remember how the runway lights looked one night long ago when you were lost and found your way, and how-you still dont know?
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