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Postby crunchy » Fri Oct 09, 2009 9:15 am

Hi everyone,
I was just wondering what you all thought about your partners, husbands e.t.c when they get onto facebook and start emailing exes and flirting and sending dirty emails fotos e.t.c as i know this has happened to a couple of people i know not just me!! I wondered do you all think its a form of cheating or not????? Im curious to know!! xx
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Re: facebook

Postby Skarlet » Fri Oct 09, 2009 9:48 am

If my bf was sending dirty photos, suggestive emails to other women I would go stark raving mad at him. I think it is a form of cheating. I don't think there is any excuse for it, and I would not be happy, if he did it again, I would have to consider if our relationship was working.
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Re: facebook

Postby RagDoll » Fri Oct 09, 2009 9:57 am

I agree with Skarlet. I'd hit the roof if my boyfriend did that! It might not be physically going out and cheating, but for all intense purposes it is.
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Re: facebook

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Fri Oct 09, 2009 11:33 am

I'd hit the roof too.
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Re: facebook

Postby crunchy » Fri Oct 09, 2009 8:49 pm

havent seen the fotos only that she had sent fotos to him and did he like them!!! argghhhh im sooo angry!!! he said hers were of her in her undewear and his where of just his face but that has got to be a lie as she knows what he looks like so what would be the point in that!!!!! And also i have to admit that i was also flirting on facebook with an ex but i didnt send and recieve fotos!! so im naughty too but he doesnt seem as bothered as i am about it and i think he doesnt really think hes in the wrong if i bring it up he just says i did it but i see him as doing something different and it was like she was making plans for the future or something he didnt but she was which hurts like mad!! Well, at least we both decided to take ourselves off facebook! This has happened to quite a few of my friends aswell so not as bad as other I HATE facebook lol!! xxx
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Re: facebook

Postby brfc » Sat Oct 10, 2009 6:55 am

my now ex did that more through msn and a online game flirting with someone. it was the final straw really she spent more time on the comp than with me. relised im worth more than this so we broke up. feel better for moving on and not putting up with that stuff.
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Re: facebook

Postby Jo » Sun Oct 11, 2009 12:31 am

Yep, I'd see flirting and swapping mucky photos as a kind of cheating. It wouldn't be acceptable to me.
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Re: facebook

Postby crunchy » Sun Oct 11, 2009 7:47 am

thats the way i see it aswell but i cant prove what fotos he sent and i think hes pretty embarassed about the whole situation because he sort of has the image as the caring boyfriend and a brilliant dad and when he found out id told mt friends e.t.c he hit the roof and if i mention it to him he doesnt want to talk about it so thats the conclusion ive come up with. It still hurts like mad though!!!
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Re: facebook

Postby Bel Bel » Thu Oct 15, 2009 1:20 pm

He doesn't have the right to refuse to talk about it, this isn't a police investiagtion. Your his partner and he has wronged you adn you have thr right to demand answers and talk about it to get it reslolved.
Lets ask him to put himself in your shoes, How would he feel if you did the same, would he happily accept you don't want to talk about it? These things can't get swept under the carpet or they just rear the ugly heads later.
He did this for a reason, he maybe unhappy with the realtionship, got complacent or even bored but either way whatever bought him to do this needs to be resolved
My hubby would get more than a right good kicking if he did that, I may even leave as I too consider it a form of cheating. He would need to be working extrmemely hard to make me feel better before I would realx back to normality (if i ever could)
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Re: facebook

Postby crunchy » Tue Oct 20, 2009 1:47 pm

well, i cant tell him to put himself in my shoes because i flirted on facebook aswell, I didnt send or recieve photos though or wasnt making plans for the future (she was he wasnt) And now because of it im a paranoid mess i dont trust him at all cause hes completly changed my view i had of him and its not so easy to leave as we have two kids together and a house e.t.c And if it was me i would be creeping and trying to make it up but he just blocks it out like it never happened and he gets annoyed when i mention it but then again i do mention it every day!
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Re: facebook

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Tue Oct 20, 2009 3:43 pm

He is probably thinking it's pot calling the kettle black. You did it, he did it - in his eyes there is nothing to talk about; he has gotten even.

If he isn't going to talk about it I'm afraid that there isn't much you can do.
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Re: facebook

Postby RagDoll » Tue Oct 20, 2009 3:54 pm

I mean this in the most constructive way possible, but this kind of tit for tat behaviour is pretty childish. Since you've been up to the same thing, I don't think you can go on and on at your partner for doing it. What you've really got to look at is why you're both seeking attention from other people...
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Re: facebook

Postby captainf » Tue Oct 20, 2009 10:41 pm

Ragdoll is right - it all sounds childish.

Facebook is a really good thing to get into contact with old friends and I have been lucky in that I have made contact with nearly all my primary + high school friends. However the moment that people who have partners start using it as a form to flirt etc there is never going to be any good coming from it.
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Re: facebook

Postby crunchy » Thu Oct 22, 2009 2:10 pm

Yeah i think your right maybe he doesnt see there is anything to talk about seems we both have done it, And yes it does seem pretty childish when you look at it but ive changed into a different person now i was never paranoid or suspicious now i constantly question him about his whereabouts whos he been talking to e.t.c and i dont like myself for this but however hard i try i cant keep my mouth shut whenever im not with him im constantly worring what is he doing and who is he talking too. And i sort of resent him because if he hadnt done it i wouldnt be this person now. And i know most people are wondering why we havent just split up but we cant cause of finacial reasons we cant afford to live separate and we have no family near by. Its driving me insane i dont want to be this insecure paranoid person anymore i want to be my old self!!! Help!!!
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Re: facebook

Postby RagDoll » Thu Oct 22, 2009 3:48 pm

The thing is, you say if he hadn't have done it, you wouldn't be who you are now - but you have the power to re-evaluate how you're reacting to what's happened. It's easy to blame our emotions etc. on other people and not look at our own actions.. you choose how you react and you also chose to behave in the same way he had.
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