I think I worry too much

[highlandcow]

Hello all,

I'm not sure if this belongs in here, so if you clever mod-bods want to move it then feel free!

My problem is that I think I worry way too much! Especially about people that I love or care about a lot. For instance a few years ago I was due to meet up with my boyfriend at the time. I went to his house to meet and he wasn't there, so I called his mobile and he didn't answer. I immediatley panicked and imagined him mugged, beated up, dead in a ditch etc. I was in floods of tears out of nowhere and I couldn't calm down. I just can't relax and think "ok, well, maybe he has left his phone at home" ect. I always jump to the worst possibly senerio. Turns out he was fine all along - he had indeed left his phone at home and was sitting in the pub waiting for me.

I can't stop acting like this even though I know that it is really unhealthy and completly irrational. A few days ago, my boyfriend went on a short break with his family. He usually texts me a few times a day so by 2pm I was in a right state because he hadn't text me. I couldn't stop thinking that he had had an accident or something. I was even checking local news websites to see if there had been any crashes on the roads or something! Of course, there wasn't and he was fine.

It's not just romantic relationships that this happens in. I always worry if my Dad is slightly late to meet me...thinking that something had happened to him as well. I used to worry insanely that he would get cancer or something horrible.
I know that this isn't right and not healthy and to be honest I have actually never admitted this to anyone. I just have to pretend that I'm not bothered when my mind is going crazy!

Does anyone have any advice - I thought that this would get better as I got older but I think it's getting worse!

Thanks!

[captainf]

I think you have to try and change the way you think. I know thats very difficult but its worth a try.
Just try to remember that life doesnt always go to plan and so if your boyfriend is late or something like that just sit there and remember that theres many simple reasons why hes maybe late or hasnt text back. Its a mind over matter situation so all you can do is try to think things through sensibly.

Over reacting too often can push people away so its worth putting in the effort to stop.

[Skarlet]

Hi Highlandcow,

I can completely sympathise, I am also pretty bad for doing that. If i haven't heard from my bf, I can start worrying that something major has happened, or if he sends a text which just says call, I can start worrying about all sorts of scenarios, when he just wants me to test out his new car kit.

I think the only thing you can do, is rationalise the scary thoughts by saying oh he has just left his phone at home, or he is driving and can't text me, or he forgot the time and is running late. The more you start to do that, the less wound up you are going to get.

Skarlet

[earthchild]

Hi Highland Cow,
i think you suffer with Anxiety, i get like this too even in my sleep! lately my bf has been jiggling alot in his sleep and it has waken me up from deep sleep and im immediantly panicking thinking hes convulsing or having a seisure or something because hes recently come off his anti-depressants.
anyway, i think our minds create this 'addtional' worry to almost occupy our thoughts. Also i think that in a way its like a safety net incase anything bad does happen because in a weird way its like we've almost prepared ourselves for it by pre-worrying about it.
Its a very stressful way to live and can really drain a person all that worrying.
I agree with Skarlet and Captain Flynn, the only way to deal with this is to start rationalising your thoughts and eventually you will stop thinking the worse and it will get easier.

[Bel Bel]

I agree with the others and remeber you have been wrong so many times before so you know you are in a cycle of aniexty and bad thinking
You could try congantive therapy if you are unable to get it under control yourself

[Raven]

Hey,

I'm like you. It's a real drag, I'm constantly on edge! I read a book called "How to Stop Worrying and Start Living" by Dale Carnegie. It's pretty old school but makes some good points xxx

[highlandcow]

Hey,

I'm like you. It's a real drag, I'm constantly on edge! I read a book called "How to Stop Worrying and Start Living" by Dale Carnegie. It's pretty old school but makes some good points xxx

Thanks Raven...may have to check that out!

Thanks guys for all your comments on here....they do hel, and it's good to know that other people feel like this as well.

i get like this too even in my sleep! lately my bf has been jiggling alot in his sleep and it has waken me up from deep sleep and im immediantly panicking thinking hes convulsing or having a seisure or something because hes recently come off his anti-depressants.

I've done this too!! Even though my boyfriend snores like a buzzsaw going through a steel pipe, I still worry!

Anyway...I'm really trying to rationalise things and be logical and try to stop this from happening to me. It is REALLY hard! (I never thought it would be easy though). I think I need to try the therapy that was suggested on here as this is seriously getting in the way of life. The other day the weather was pretty bad and I couldn't stop worrying about my boyfriend who was driving in it on little country lanes. Local news websites got some serious hits that day I can tell you.

How does one go about cognitive therapy? What does it involve? I seriously feel that this is getting out of control and I don't know where it has come from. I really just want to feel like myself again!

Thanks!

[Bel Bel]

My daughter went after a nasty bullying incident and it really helped her after only a few sessions
Look them up in your local phone directory or google cognitive therapist in your area.
You just go and talk and they tell you all the things to do to help yourself including information sheets etc if you need them