Not a problem per se I just need to vent my spleen

[Seiya]

First of all sorry for the swearing and shouting.

I am so jumping hissed off!! I've just had a text from my mate who's blown me off a-fucking-gain for the THIRD basket TIME.

Normally I wouldn't be bothered but it was my birthday yesterday and I set aside today (my one and only day off ) so I could spend some time with him, I even took into account that even though I wanted to watch a film he's skint so I said "ok then if you're feeling skint we'll just take a drive somewhere and talk like we used to", to which he agreed. All's well yes?

Now bearing in mind that we arranged this a week in advance. So I gets a call yesterday saying that he's got to work but seeing as he's working the night shift, he should be free for the afternoon. But AGAIN he brings the subject of being skint so I again said don't worry then we'll just go for a drive like I said. So he said ok I'll text you when I finish. I sent him a text to remind him to text me and went to bed.

I've just got a text from the jumping custard that for the third time say's he's skint and suddenly out of nowhere he's mysteriously got to go and pick a TV up from his Girlfriends Aunties. LIKE WHAT THE chuck I MAKE PLANS WITH YOU WELL IN ADVANCE AND SUDDENLY YOU GO AND CANCEL BECAUSE YOUR BIRD WANTS TO USE YOU AS A jumping MULE? I've lost count of the number of times I've cancelled plans WITH FAMILY and gone to do stuff with you, you can't just turn round to your bird ONE jumping TIME to come for a drive just for half an hour just THIRTY basket MINUTES, I MEAN IS THAT JUST TOO MUCH TO jumping ASK?

Now that I think about it family and friends are always telling me to just kick him to the kerb and just move on, he obviously isn't interested in the friendship anymore, and it's just me making all the basket effort, but we have been mates for 10+ years and it just seems a waste and plus it just doesn't seem like me to just blow someone off like that. Round where I live I'm almost famous for my patience. I'm just getting sick and tired of being thrown to the side and only getting picked up and dusted off when people need me for favours, lifts or money. I know I need to toughen up but again that isn't in my public character, in private I'm a seething mess, but in public I'm all smiles.

Ok now I'm asking for advice, should I tell my "mate" where to shove it? Like everyone says I should? Or should i listen to my heart and just keep getting pushed to the side again and again?


Edited by Snail: the swear filter caught most of that, Seiya, and I got the rest. No swearing on here, please

[RagDoll]

Ok, firstly, I can relate to this post as I have a few friends that can be like this. I am also one for hanging onto friendships even when I don't particularly look forward to spending time with the person. I don't really know why I do this so I am probably not the best of people to advise, lol.

I think friendships sometimes do run their course and perhaps this is one you should let go of if it's you that has to constantly make the effort. Any relationship, platonic or romantic takes effort from both parties. If you decide not to make the effort anymore, I wouldn't actually go as far as to tell him to shove off, just don't bother contacting him anymore.

With regards to his girlfriend - do you think the reason he's backed off from your friendship a bit because of her? Perhaps she doesn't like him being close friends with another female? Just a thought..

[dipsydoodlenoodle]

In my opinion it seems like he tried to blow you off a few times; firstly he was skint, you made alternative arrangements, he texted again "forgetting" and you made alternative arrangements and suddenly he's got to pick up a TV - he could have done both if it HAD to be done. It seems like he kept making excuses and excuses and finally when "being skint" wasn't a good enough excuse he made up a "better" excuse. I'd wait until he contacts you for a meeting again rather than you making the effort with him.

[Seiya]

Ok I've been out with some other friends and I still don't feel any better,

The fact that he just keeps on cancelling on me is just eating me up, I am trying not to let it, but it seems like I'm fighting a losing battle, anyway, I'm going out for a meal with the family, that should take my mind off things at least for a little bit.

I think I'm gonna leave it till after Christmas and see what happens. I do have something planned for January 5th and I bet you that he'll say that he's free on that day, just to be awkward.

p.s.

Ragdoll:- I'm a bloke, he's one of my oldest friends (Time-Wise.) But I do see where you're coming from and I do think that may be the case.

[kerrie24]

I agree for some reason he was trying to put off going out with you and I wouldnt go begging him next time I would plan things with other people and he can come along if he happens to be free.Dont go chasing after him.Id just leave it for a while now.

[RagDoll]

Opps, sorry, not sure why I assumed you were female! Silly me