I can't get along with his friends...

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I can't get along with his friends...

Postby xsummerstars » Tue Jan 05, 2010 12:44 am

My boyf recently moved in with a guy from his university and they get on great. Problem is, I don't get along with his flatmate or any of his friends. It appears as though I get on with his flatmates girlf but I don't think much of her.
See, my friends and I are all very straight forward people. We always speak our mind and are honest and open-minded. Very honest and straight to the point. Whereas the flatmate and his friends really arn't and some of my boyf actual friends are the same. They can't bring up minor problems when they are minor. They have to wait until they have grown into huge, unavoidable topics and then when discussing them they cowar away from what they actually need to say.
Everytime I'm speaking to them I feel as though they are lying to me.
My boyf can't understand why I don't want to go out on nights out with them or hang around with them but the truth is I can't take such sly people. Their actions stand against a lot of my convictions and I'm not a hateful person but I'm growing to really disliked them all.
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Re: I can't get along with his friends...

Postby ToriL87 » Tue Jan 05, 2010 11:38 am

i have to say for various reasons i don't like some of my boyfriends friends/house mates either. Unfortunately your boyfriend lives with these guys though and is friendly with them. So i'd recommend that you tolerate them, you don't have to be best buddies with any of them, or agree to go out with them all of the time, but there will be times when your boyfriend maybe wants to go out with them and you, and i think you should put your feelings for his friends aside on those occasions fo your boyfriend.
Your boyfriend maybe all ready knows you don't like them, i think you should maybe point out to him that although you know their his friends, you have some reasons for not liking them/agreeing with how they get on etc. Maybe your boyfriend will tell you some stuff about them that you don't know, and it may show them in a different light (though maybe not)
I think it's important that you don't make too big a deal out of this, you don't want to cause a big arguement with your boyfriend or alienate him from his friends or flatmates. Reaching an agreement where you only go out together with them once a month, and your not left alone with any of his mates, or left alone trying to entertain their girlfriends could maybe help matters.
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Re: I can't get along with his friends...

Postby RagDoll » Tue Jan 05, 2010 1:00 pm

I agree with Tori.

To be honest, I can understand why you wouldn't like sly people, but your description doesn't make them sound THAT sly, more that they're the kind of people that bottle things up and aren't confrontational. I know what you're saying as I prefer it when people are honest and call a spade a spade too, but you've got to accept that not everyone is like that and it's not always due to them being scheming or sly, just that they don't like to voice their opinions etc. as much as the rest of us.
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Re: I can't get along with his friends...

Postby earthchild » Wed Jan 06, 2010 12:37 pm

xsummerstars wrote:They can't bring up minor problems when they are minor. They have to wait until they have grown into huge, unavoidable topics and then when discussing them they cowar away from what they actually need to say.


Like you, people like this really bug the hell out of me and i cant trust them either, strangely enough though they are usually the type of people who wont have a problem confronting someone who has said something about them and taking the high almighty ground about it!

Anyway, i really dont think they are worth causing a rift between you and your bf.
The world is full of people like that and I really suggest that you accept that thats who they are after all there really isn't any point getting stressed over them,
try your best to not socialise with them when you can but remain with some politeness when you have to face them, as someone else has said there maybe times where your bf may want you to all go out together and for your relationship sake you may have to grin and bare it ! but i dont see no harm in explaining to your bf your feelings about them.
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