Why am I this upset?

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Why am I this upset?

Postby georgedoors » Tue Nov 17, 2009 10:28 am

I just found out a guy who I knew from university had passed away at the age of 28 last Friday on Facebook, I cried about it, and feel genuinely depressed, yet I was never close friends with him. I only kind of knew him, played a few pool and football matches with him, apart from that I never really had anything to do with him, maybe because he seemed like a genuine, kind hearted guy. But I still don't understand why I'm so down, I've haven't seen or had anything to do with the guy for almost two years.
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Re: Why am I this upset?

Postby Jo » Tue Nov 17, 2009 10:57 am

Hi georgedoors (love the name!)

It's normal to be upset by someone's death, even if you didn't know them very well and especially if they were young - it brings home the reality that life can be short - which can be a bit of a shock. It's had to get your head around the idea that they are no longer out there in the world somewhere getting on with their lives. There are two or three people who were my age at school that died in their 20s (I'm almost 40 now), and I hardly knew them but at the time it was very upsetting to think that they died so young. It's also very upsetting to think about what their family must be going through. Being upset just means that you're human :)
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Re: Why am I this upset?

Postby Ogadai » Wed Dec 30, 2009 8:27 pm

it's a very unusual feeling grief for a lost friend but it's something we all end up feeling. it's not whether you were close to him or not it's probably the thought that it's someone you knew is gone. you may not have had contact for a couple of years but he is still in your memory and that's probably the reason why you're so upset
Time. Time is an artificial construct. An arbitrary system based on the idea that events occur in a linear direction at all times. Always forward, never back. Is the concept of time correct? Is time relevant?
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Re: Why am I this upset?

Postby highlandcow » Thu Jan 14, 2010 9:59 pm

Hi Georgedoors,

I'm really sorry to hear about your friend.

Ogadai wrote:it's probably the thought that it's someone you knew is gone.

I don't think it matters how long it's been since you saw someone, if they were your friend then it's going to hurt.

I'm not shrink but often when someone dies, especially so young, it brings up feelings of our own mortality, which is understandably hard to handle.

Maybe you could consider getting grief counselling to help resolve some of these issues.

Hang in there though. You'll be upset for a while and that's OK. Everyone deals with it differently and there is no right or way of handelling it.
Go to Glasgow at least once in your life and have a roll and square sliced sausage and a cup of tea. When you feel the tea coursing over your spice-singed tongue, you'll know what I mean when I say:
'It's good to be alive!'"

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