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Maybe you have fallen out with your mate, or perhaps you are about to betray them - whatever it is, talk about it here.
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Postby graphicassy » Wed Jan 27, 2010 3:09 pm

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Last edited by graphicassy on Thu Aug 16, 2012 11:35 am, edited 1 time in total.
graphicassy
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Re: My two friends want to go travelling and I cant!

Postby Skarlet » Wed Jan 27, 2010 10:24 pm

Yeh, I think you would be best to get out there, take up new hobbies, and do things you always wanted to do. The friendships may change slightly, they might come back absolutely loathing each other, or will come back with loads of shared experiences. Either way that could make your relationship with each of them change. The only real way to deal with it, would be to do things too- like take up courses, or maybe, go and meet them at the end of their three months for a week... so you are part of the shared memories.
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Re: My two friends want to go travelling and I cant!

Postby reckoner » Wed Feb 03, 2010 9:01 pm

Hi graphicassy,

No doubt about it, it's horrible being the one left behind when friends go travelling. When a colleague left work to do it, winking at me on his way out and saying "Make it your turn soon", I felt like quitting there and then and spent the rest of the day in a bad mood. I'm travelling right now and my best mate has told me, many times, how rubbish it is being left behind.

As far as missing your friends goes, they'll be missing you too. I never miss home, but I always miss friends and my best mate has now idea how happy I am to get her emails and stories about what's been happening since I left. So, make sure you email them with every silly story you remember. They might not have time to reply all the time, (personally, I spend all my online time dealing with billions of mails from my parents asuring them I'm eating properly) but I can guarantee they'll be thrilled to hear from you. Being away from people close to you is a great opportunity to have a different sort of contact that's even more special than usual.

I don't think you need to worry about missing out on stuff. Sure, they'll have a great time (hopefully), but as long as travelling is something you really want to do, and something that you commit yourself to achieving, then you have it all to look forward to. Even if you miss out on stuff with them this time round, they'll love to have you to tell it all to and you can get ideas from them about what you want to do when the time comes.

Three months sounds like a long time, but let me tell you: IT ISN'T. It flies by (in fact it's depressing how quickly it goes). You'll miss them like hell at first, but then you'll get used to it and, as Skarlet and you have both said, filling the time with new stuff will help you get over that initial black, empty feeling - and give you something to entertain your travelling buddies with. Sounds to me like there is stuff you really want to do: you're right - now's the time.

5 years ago, my best mate went travelling leaving me behind. Now I'm doing it to her. Hopefully for her, she'll do it to me at some point and it'll be my turn again to be gutted. But it's just now, it's not forever - your time will come.

All the best
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