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Postby Pottykates » Thu Feb 11, 2010 1:44 am

As i write this, i'm crying my eyes out. I have just left my university club on my own from a rugby social, where i found myself dancing on my own because everyone just drifted off and left me.
I want a friend, any friend who likes me for me and will be there if i need them. I haven't got a best friend, i lost mine 2 years ago when she moved away and decided she no longer wanted to be friends, i have no idea why.
Ever since i was young i've found it difficult to make friends, but i was hoping that when i started uni this year it would all change. I would make friends with people on my course, people i live with, and i even joined the rugby team (which i'd never played before in my life) just so i could make friends. Fair enough they are all really nice lasses, but i'm not really friends with them. I go to social just so i can attempt to interact with them, and once i have a drink i do find it slightly easier to talk to people.
But, here i am now sat on my bed feeling lonelier than ever. If it wasn't for my boyfriend of 2 years i wouldn't have anyone at all who cared for me except for my family (and meeting him was pure luck which i thank the stars for).
I can't understand whats wrong with me. Whenever someone does talk, i never know what to say back and can't strike up conversations. The only "friends" i do have are the ones who seem to understand that i'm quite shy, but because of that we aren't closer because i still find it hard to talk to them.
I seriously don't know what to do. How can i change the way i am socially? I need to, because i can't continue being lonely forever and relying on my boyfriend.
Please, someone, give me some advice or hope or anything. I need cheering up :(
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Re: Lonely.

Postby Bel Bel » Thu Feb 11, 2010 10:38 am

As you say you are difficult to have a conversation with because you are shy.
You need to try and work on this.
Perhaps try a self help book.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Ten-Simple-Solu ... 1572243481
http://www.amazon.com/Making-Friends-2- ... 0843129697
Before you approach someone try to have an idea of some things to talk about, preferably things you know they are interested in and hopefully that will keep the conversation flowing.
You are going to have to make the maximum effort you can.
Be prepared to fail sometimes and don't beat yourself up for it.
The thing with us confident people that if we ar knocked we just try to forget it and move on. You probably take things badly when knocked as it has taken you so much effort to pluck up the courage to start a conversation and then to get knocked makes it all feel futile and therefore even harder to try again becasue of the fear of not getting anywhere.
You have a boyfriend so there is obviously nothing wrong with you
What about making some friends on line or getting a penpal to help boast your confidence as a friend and maybe that will help you see yourself in a better light. If you have more confidence it will help in direct contact situations


Most of all don't try to win friends by being fake or agreeing with things you don't. Always be yourself just fake being a bit more confident
Life is for living so live it to the fullest

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Re: Lonely.

Postby ILoveYou » Thu Feb 11, 2010 9:15 pm

The best thing to do in this situation is to really perk yourself up. Have some 'me time' like shopping or a bubble bath. Make yourself happy, and don't get yourself depressed.

Then get out on a chat website, like this one, and have some conversations! Crack one liners. Add emoticons. Always have a friendly approach.

Soon you'll be able to use your online friend-making skill in public. Get out there, girl, and make some friends! You have all my good luck and my best wishes!
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