Caught in the middle

Maybe you have fallen out with your mate, or perhaps you are about to betray them - whatever it is, talk about it here.
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Caught in the middle

Postby Sarahjane » Thu Apr 08, 2010 2:54 am

Hi I've got my Graduation ball coming up. My boyfriend of nearly two years is really excited about it, hes even talking about buying me a dress. However when i went to buy tickets my best mate who i live with said he didnt want him there, not because she's got anything against him, just because she thinks it should be about celebrating the end of uni with mates.
Sooo i really dont know what to do, i've been putting of getting tickets for ages but it's getting closer. My mates already got her tickets, but hers are vip because she bought early on, so she'll be able to get into areas i can't, which is going to be a bit rubbish on my own.
I can see both points of view and i really don't want to hurt either of them. To make matters worse my mum has said that my actual graduation ceremony should be a family do so my boyf won't be going, so i don't want to turn round to my boyfriend and say that both my family and friends have pushed him away. I cant talk to either my boyf or my friend about it because i don't want to cause a row.
I'm thinking my best bet would be just not to go, and tell them both that i just didnt fancy going, but then i dont really want to miss out. What would anyone else do in this situation? i just want to find a happy medium cheers x
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Re: Caught in the middle

Postby Skarlet » Thu Apr 08, 2010 8:45 am

Why are you letting your friend dictate what you do for your graduation? Surely it should be about celebrating with who you want to, whether or not they are actually at your university. He is your bf, he has been with you for 2 years, whilst you have been at uni, surely he has every right to celebrate that with you?

You should do what YOU want to do. Not your friend, its your graduation ball, it should be up to you how you celebrate. Are you happy with your bf? Do you see your relationship continuing? if so then you should have him there. I would also compromise about the day of your graduation. Maybe he could meet you after the actual ceremony, and be included in the pictures if you want him to be. You have just graduated, and can do what you want.
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Re: Caught in the middle

Postby ILoveChristmas » Thu Apr 08, 2010 8:59 am

Is your friend planning on spending the whole night with you and only you? That's the only reason I can think that she might be in any way justified in trying to stop you bring your boyfriend.

Her suggestion that he not come is rediculous. He's your boyfriend, a celebration should include him and in any case, you said yourself that she will be off doing things that you can't do with her 'VIP' ticket. There is no sense in hurting your boyfriend simply because your friend suggested it.

Take him along and have a great night.
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The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel. — Steve Furtick
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Re: Caught in the middle

Postby RagDoll » Thu Apr 08, 2010 11:17 am

I totally agree with the others - it's your graducation, thus your chance to celebrate your hard work, so you should have whoever you want there. It's not up to your friend - I would have it a guess that she's single??? Perhaps she's a bit jealous you've got someone else other than friends to share the day with? To be honest, even with regard to your parents, I still think it's up to you if your boyfriend is there or not. It's your day.
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Re: Caught in the middle

Postby spacegirl » Thu Apr 08, 2010 8:15 pm

no way! she's just jealous you have a fab bf who wants to buy you a lovely dress and show how proud he is of you! who cares what she thinks, that celebrating the end of uni's a load of rubbish, she's just raging she doesn't have a date. I'd just bring your bf and she can like it or lump it.

also your mum - it's your graduation! just explain that you would like him there, i'm sure she'd understand
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Re: Caught in the middle

Postby Bel Bel » Fri Apr 09, 2010 12:20 pm

I think you should say as you have a vip ticket i will end up being left on my own so it makes no sense not to bring my b/f
as for your parents you need to tell them that throughout the last two years your b/f has been a big part of your school life and you wnat him there
As others have siad it's your graduation not your parents
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Re: Caught in the middle

Postby ILoveChristmas » Fri Apr 09, 2010 12:48 pm

Do your parents disapprove of your boyfriend or something? It seems rather odd that they wouldn't simply expect that would be part of things.

It is very difficult, especially since it might cause an arguement at home, but why not broach the subject of why your parents don't think your boyfriend should come. It's not a family ocassion, it's your ocassion, to be spent the way you see fit.
Christmas to a child is the first terrible proof that to travel hopefully is better than to arrive. - Stephen Fry.

The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel. — Steve Furtick
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Re: Caught in the middle

Postby Sarahjane » Fri Apr 09, 2010 6:34 pm

cheers for all your help guys. i took your advice, and asked him to come..then it turns out he can't get it off work anyway! im gutted but ill still go and have a good time with my mates. ill also speak to my parents bout the graduation. i really want him to be involved in some way, like you all say this is my thing and i should be able to invite who i want :D
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