Sick of all my friends

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Sick of all my friends

Postby CrystalStarr » Sun May 02, 2010 10:30 pm

Hi, I am so sorry as I've had a few wines tonight and my rambling may sound really random but I just wanted to talk to people who aren't rubbish. Basically I am sick to death with (most of) my friends. Most of - in fact ALL - of my friends have boyfriends. Now, that's OK cos some of the bfs I get on with and like and they're nice to me. But sometimes it just winds me up! Tonight I met up with a friend who I haven't seen in a month. She was the one who suggested it, I turned up and we went for a drink. Then she mentioned another pub we could go to where her bf was with all his mates. So I say, yes fair enough. So we go and it turns out it's just her bf and NONE OF HIS FRIENDS. So I feel like a right third wheel while they kiss and cuddle etc etc. But her bf talks to me sometimes as we like the same fantasy games and sci-fi TV stuff (I'm a bit of a geek) and my mate makes a proper catty comment like 'ooh I feel like I'm crashing YOUR date here'. So I go to the bathroom and when I get back my mate is suddenly 'tired' (after bein out only 2 hours) and goes home with her bf.

I am just SICK TO DEATH of mates ditching me for boys. My best friend has a REALLY BORING boyfriend (although I wouldn't ever tell her) and she frequently ditches me for him, my other best friend has a boyfriend who is always scamming money out of her and she also ditches me for him. Then there's this friend who thinks I'm hitting on her boyfriend (which I'm NOT - I would NEVER hit on anyone else's boyfriend). Also, my friends always seem to need boyfriends - they frequently go from one to the other - like tehy're not strong enough to be alone. And that really disappoints me. I'm just sick of taking all their rubbish and being invited out as the 'token single friend'. My other mate also tries to set me up with her bf's mates who are TOTALLY WRONG for me, and are total weirdos. It winds me up, like everyone pities me, and I find it insulting. I like being single. I like not having anyone to answer to, and having my weekends free to myself, and the possibility that there's someone out there for me. But these 'friends' of mine are totally crushing my vibe.

I need some new friends cos I think these ones are lost causes and just use me whenever their bfs are not around. Trouble is, I'm not sure how to go about this. Basically I just wanted to rant cos, well, I'm drunk, and also I'm just at the end of my rope. I'm getting pretty good at being a third wheel but I just don't like this position. Sorry guys, I'm not sure what response I want here. Maybe someone who is going through/has been through the same thing? Where do you meet new friends? There's a girl I like at work, but she lives really far from me and it's difficult to get home if we're on a night out. I just would love a best friend who I can really trust in and talk to, but all I seem to have is these part-time friends until a man comes along.
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Re: Sick of all my friends

Postby Bel Bel » Tue May 04, 2010 12:00 pm

Well firstly next time you arrange a date be clear up front that you want a big night out , no fellas, not get in until late etc

I think your friends should be able to manage that every couple of weeks.

Don't let your friends get to you about being single, there are advantages and disadvantages to both but you like being single so their opinion on that isn't relevant.

As for making new friends it's the usual advice of join clubs, take up hobbies, do a night class in something you enjoy and you should start to make friends with people who have a least one thing in common with you
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Re: Sick of all my friends

Postby Jonaslove » Sat May 08, 2010 10:06 am

Yes I agree, I think you should get all your friends together and go for a big girls night out!
If you don't think that will do any good maybe you could arrange a night out with the girl you like from work, and try and meet a few of her friends?
It may be hard to get home after a night out, but maybe you could switch from going out in where you live and going out where she lives another time.

Do you have any hobbies or anything that your really interested in? If you do you could join clubs as Bel Bel said. When people used to give me this advice I used to think that this wouldn't help, but it really really helped me. I joined a netball team and met someone who is one of my best friends now, I get on with her so so well and we have such a laugh! And also joining teams is such a good way to make friends as you all have to work together and its very easy to find at least one person in a team that you get on with really well.

I'd just like to add that I have often been in the position your in, you just have to go out and make an effort to talk to new people and you will make new friends so easily and will feel so much better!

Good luck and I hope this helps!

xxx
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